Keep trying and how to cope with “humiliation”

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I know that keep trying is the best way to gain experience (which leads to confidence) and simply cause of the odds.

But what about the fear of humiliation? What about the overthinking and the fact that a failure is going to mark my psychology for the next few days bringing me back rather than forward.

How do I have to cope with the humiliation of a failed interaction? How is this humiliation going to influence my acquaintances’ view of me?

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HOW MISUNDERSTANDING ‘HONESTY’ IS MESSING UP YOUR GAME AND HOW TO FIX

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So you walk into a club, you start to feel nervous, the environment is overwhelming, the girls are intimidating, you’re on your own and it feels like everyone is judging you, you stand around for 20 mins trying to sum up the courage to approach…You decide to take Social Primes advice and `just be honest`

You see a girl you’re super attracted to, you start to walk towards her, on the way up your heart starts beating, you feel afraid, you have thoughts like `what if she rejects me` `she looks kind of bitchy`.

You awkwardly force each foot in front of the other and finally make it over to her. She looks at you with an expression like `what the fuck do you want you creep`

Then… you say “I want to have sex with you”. It comes out of your mouth like a squeaky mouse.

Next, she looks at you like you’re a piece of shit and then tells you to fuck off.

You walk away with the conclusion the `be honest` concept from Social Prime is a load of shit time to learn techniques to solve this problem.

After reading many comments in the Facebook group this story describes how the concept is often retardedly interpreted.

I have experienced the power of this concept in my life with unbelievable results during and after the immersion I took. Hung out with the SP crew a ton and seen how ‘effortless’ interacting with girls can become when applied correctly.

Firstly let`s clear up what Social Prime actually means by `honesty` within in an interaction. Next, we will look at how this is the path for game to finally become `effortless`.

How to use `honesty` within in an interaction?

The simplest way to describe what Social Prime means by honesty is ‘not trying to hide anything’ or ‘not wearing a mask’.

Girls are amazing at sensing bullshit, they are like walking lie detectors, their brains are literally wired this way. SO trying to hide behind a mask is like walking on a tightrope.

Not only can girls sense it, even if you can manage to hide it successfully you are harming yourself internally in the process (we will get into this later).

Your sub-communications are generated by what’s going on internally and emotionally.

The more closely what you say matches what’s going on internally and emotionally in the moment the more ‘honest’, the more congruent, the more authentic you are being.

In the opening story, an ‘honest’ thing to express would have been something like…

“I`m feeling quite overwhelmed by the environment but I felt attracted to you and decided to nervously come over here and introduce myself”

One thing that is likely to happen is the girl drops the bitchy look on her face, admires your courage, likes your realness and begins interacting with you.

Girls are attracted to authenticity and repulsed when they sense deception, neediness, and supplication.

However, the thing to focus on is not if the girl’s reaction is good or bad. The thing to focus on is are you living with personal integrity. ‘Integrity means congruence: words and behavior match.’ (pg 144 Six Pillars of Self Esteem)

As soon as you start trying to manipulate the girl’s reaction you are fundamentally supplicating to the girl and not living with personal integrity. The pick-up industry is one big giant supplication.

It also means you are hiding who you are from others which over time reinforces beliefs like ‘you are not good enough’. Especially if you have had beliefs like this from a young age.

Your beliefs about yourself and the world are always coming through in your sub-communications regardless if you express or not. Pick-up models are like a factory for reinforcing terrible beliefs.

‘Hiding from others means suppressing the potentialities of the unreleased self. If you cannot reveal yourself to others you can not reveal yourself to yourself. It does not only mean that you suppress who you are but also what you could be will never be forced by necessity to come forward, biological truth as well as conceptual.’ – Jordan Peterson

Now that the interaction has started you continue to be authentic throughout the interaction, moment to moment.

So…-You like something about her and want to tell her. You tell her.-You want to tell her what you had for breakfast. You tell her.-You dislike her behavior. You tell her.-You want to say a joke. You say it.-You want to be playful. You do it.-You think her joke isn’t funny. You don’t laugh.-You want to tease her you tease her.-Your bored of listening to her talk and talk about herself you put your finger on her mouth and tell her to ssh.-You want to kiss her. You kiss her.-Your feeling really horney and you want to fuck her. You tell her.Etc…

This is what naturals have been doing for centuries before pick-up even became a thing. The only thing is they don’t have all the blockages stopping them from expressing freely.

All the stuff the pick-up industry focuses on takes care of itself the more unblocked you become without even having to think about it. (E.g Qualifying, push-pull etc…) But on STEROIDS. Now it’s coming from a real place, its way more powerful and the girls notice.

Once you are unblocked girls literally start getting addicted to your presence, you see this with naturals. Think Hank Moody from Californication or Russell Brand. Do these guys think about what technique to use?

The more unblocked you become the easier it becomes. Different parts of your previously suppressed personality come out naturally. The more and more ‘effortless’ interacting becomes over time.

You can express dominanceYou can express vulnerabilityYou can be loudYou can be funYou can be challengingYou can be chill

How to become unblocked?

When a blockage arises. You have two options. Try and hide/suppress the blockage from the girl or just simply express it and own it (the ‘authentic’ route).

So any time you become blocked emotionally and feel stuck you simply express that.

For example, your standing with a girl, looking into her eyes, there is sexual tension. Internally you get that feeling it’s time to kiss her. But for some reason your afraid to do it, the fear cripples you.

Look her in the eyes and simply tell her you feel afraid to kiss her and ‘own it’. Own the fuck out of the fact that you’re afraid.

You’re not saying it as a technique to try and get the girl. You’re saying it because it’s real and expressing yourself and living with personal integrity is more important than getting the girl.

When you ‘own it’ it doesn’t come across as needy. It’s only needy if you say it to try and manipulate her. Instead, it shows a lot of bravery and self-respect. Which is very attractive. So most likely the sexual tension will grow stronger or you will snap out of it and kiss her.

Remember she can most likely already sense your hesitation at this point so by trying to hide your fear is not only supplicating but pointless, it causes distrust and it’s very unattractive.

You also compromise your own self-expression and it will actually work to decrease your self-esteem over time. Six Pillars of Self Esteem is an amazing book that covers this in depth.

When you express the blockages in this way, over time they lose their power over you. You get it off your chest. Your mind can now start processing and reshaping how it views the world and how ridiculous many of the blockages you have are.

Your limiting beliefs and emotional patterns will change, if applied correctly they change very fast.

Carl Jung would say “what you resist not only persists but will grow in size.” By surrendering, and expressing the blockages they shrink in size over time.

This is why so many guys end up hating the game quitting pick-up after a few years or rely on alcohol. All the suppressed emotions from wearing pick-up masks take its toll.

Everything they are resisting and covering up via external models grows over time. It takes effort to manipulate your own expression to maintain an image of someone you are not.

Benefits from applying ‘honesty’ and being authentic overtime…

1. All your internal blockages decrease over time and game becomes ‘effortless’

Once you have removed the blockage to approach, express yourself with a full range of emotions, move the interaction forward and removed a bunch of bullshit beliefs. Game is now ‘effortless’.

Say goodbye to…-Approach anxiety-Second guessing yourself and overthinking.-Not being able to move interactions forward.-Downward spirals and state crashes.-Low self-esteem.-Putting hot girls on pedestals.

2. You start having amazing connections and girls stay in your life

When you drop your mask, girls reciprocate by dropping their masks. You are now interacting with the real girl. Strong connections are a natural progression of this.

Welcome to a reality where girls…-Remember you and message you back and stop flaking-Trust you faster and have sex with you faster-Start hitting you up and chasing you

3. You feel much better about yourself.You experience huge increases in…-Self-esteem.-Natural confidence.-Happiness.-Motivation

4. Your beliefs about women and yourself changeYou will start to see…

-That women don’t care what you say but rather if you are owning what you say and if there is any incongruence (words and behavior/sub communications match)

-Girls love sex and will actually often help you make it happen when they sense no incongruence. They are on your team.

-Girls want to be approached

-Rejection in pick-up does not exist and is a misinterpretation of reality (that’s for another post)

5. You become better company to be around and more charismatic in all areas of your life

This one’s obvious. E.g That moment at work when you know you should speak up, you find yourself naturally doing it, without hesitation. By removing the blockage to speak up in pick-up it transfers to all areas of your life.

6. You start to see clearly what you want and stop chasing validation

By living with honesty and authenticity it extends to being honest with yourself. You start to see which of your behaviors are chasing validation and which ones are in alignment with what you want at a deep level.

That could be a girlfriend, crazy experiences, one night stands or open relationships. Whatever it is it doesn’t matter. The more you become clearer for what you want the more you will notice your expression optimizes to bring you this. In other words, you start going for what you want NOT what you think you want (e.g laycount).

7. There is no limit to your growth and it’s completely sustainable.

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Expert seducing all the girlies /s

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Expert seducing all the girlies /s


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Discover The 3 Main Classes of Men in the world.

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Discover The 3 Main Classes of Men in the world.

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Texting during the week?

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Talked to this girl on tinder, we talked for a few hours, I sent some flirty text, she did too, we set to meet on Saturday.

I’m wondering if I should text her sometime during the week, to be honest I don’t want to because I wanna keep the date interesting and don’t want to know her too well beforehand.
Although I’m worried I’ll come off as not interested in her or she’ll lose interest during the week if we don’t talk.
What should I do?

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She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

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She’ll Text Me, She’ll Text Me Not

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[FR] No Regrets

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TLDR: Talent show, was confident, talked to lots of people, actively gamed girl but I chose not to make a move on purpose, got fairly exclusive (i think) invite to after after party, had a great time and I’m really happy with all my decisions and how I acted that night. I was the kind of confident I’ve always wanted to be and the kind of person you see killing the game at parties.

Hey, i’ll preface this with the fact this will be a long post, and part of why I’m posting here is because the entire night was pretty surreal and I just want to write out the events and keep a copy here.

This was saturday night, having not drunk in a couple months I was excited to get hammered. I want to note that I was not getting drunk because i needed it to be social, I’m confident in my social skills sober, I just wanted to get drunk because it would help me get my mind off things other than tonight, all the stress from university and job finding, etc. it would help me forget that and live in the moment. Which it did, it was fantastic. There was a college talent show, and being a talented person you already know I was going to do a little magic show on stage for everyone. So after the predrinks, which ended with a shot of absinthe (god damn that stuff is S T R O N G), we head over to the venue. I say hi to friends I see there, and head over backstage and do some more shots with the other performers and am just having a dandy old time. Its almost my turn to perform, so I head up to the side of the stage ready to walk in. I perform. My performance went good (if you’re wondering) and I walk off and I see this cute stage hand, I go and talk to her say hi and something else can’t entirely remember but she thought I asked where she’s from so i went with it

“I’m from _______”

“oh cool me too, hey I’m gonna go sit down but nice meeting you”

and thats basically how it ended because i did want to watch the rest of the show, it was really fun.

 

At some point I got messages from some of my homies not at the show and saw some pictures of me on stage on someones story, note my entire act name was my insta handle and i ended it with telling the audience to “follow me on ig, and dont worry i follow back”, and smiled and laughed everyone loved it and i got a bunch of followers. So when i saw these pics, and someone sent me a link to the story (but i couldn’t see it cuz it was private) and i realized this girls not following me i get a little cheesed. Like you have me on your story, I tell everyone to follow me, and you don’t follow me. smh not cool. So i ask around and one of my friends is her friends and as I first asked her if she knew this person (a little weird, i legit walked around asking some friends who i thought might know her if they knew her by showing them her ig profile that WAS NOT FOLLOWING ME SMH). and this girl is like yeah, isnt she cute? insert big smile. Im just like yeah umm i dont know i dont know her. Anyways she later introduces me, i explain that i wanna see the video of myself cuz i want to see if i looked as cool as i thought i did and how a mutual friend sent me the story but i cant see it because shes private. So i secure the follow see the video, i am just as awesome as i thought i was. Oh yeah and when my friend introduced me, she said again, infront of her, “isnt she cute” big smile, again. I was thinking, damn girl why u making it awkward, but i smiled was like yeah haha anyways… and then explained my story. This boosted me even more because it was as though im the prize here, and she wants me to like her friend, not the other way around. And even in the moment i thought it was weird but i was like damn she really out here trying.

Fast forward to the end of the show, the after party is about a block away so everyone just walks there and I’m about ready to leave. I meet this girl who wanted to hook up last year but due to logistics it didnt work and she got a boyfriend about a month later so nothing happened. I saw her today fairly drunk and alone, so like every good samaritan I was curious if she broke up with her boyfriend and was ready to console her. So I went up and started talking to her, she says we should go to the after party, links arms with me and we start walking. I’m thinking, damn you got this, but is she single or no? As we leave the venue it is freezing. Its like -30 and I realize I left my jacket inside. So I pull my arm apart let her know I have to get my jacket and to just meet me at the after party, her expression changed from a smile to a slight, “hmm okay ;/” So I go get my jacket, and walk to the after party alone and was still happy feeling great. I meet her there, start talking to her, casually ask where the boyfriend is, she’s like hes not here but she is still in a relationship, I replied oh cool thats awesome, and just dipped cuz you already know im not tryna make more friends.

At the after party I met a bunch of new people and I was just bouncing around a couple different groups saying Hi and dancing and taking a break to just talk. It was fantastic. I honestly felt like the cool guy everyone is friends with, and for the people who aren’t friends with that cool guy, they WANT to be friends with him. Cuz hes the cool guy. Thats how i feel looking back, in the moment I was just trying to meet new people because they seemed interesting and I wanted to talk and just be me. I’m really proud of all this because this is the kind of person I’ve been working to become for the past 2 years and I finally have a good self image, and looking back at saturday night I honestly think I was the ideal me (in terms of personality, still want to work out and change a bunch of “shallow”er things about myself – looks, get a job, etc.).

 

I meet stage hand girl at the after party alongside some of her friends. I go and talk to them all like hey whats up blah blah the usual. And then as I’m talking to her I get closer and closer to the point where my hand is on her back, and we’re just talking into each others ears real close (imagine any party where you see one dude gaming a girl and is just about to close the deal – thats basically how it seemed to me in the moment so I knew I was doing something right). And as we were talking and i got to know her I found out she was actually really cool which is a huge plus. And as we’re talking I found out that shes also much older (8 years older). I brush this off with jokes like haha wow youre so old im such a baby (I’m at the prime age of 21). But even when I heard this I was like hmmm what do i do, like if she down to just hook up so am i but like what hmmm. I stay in set and just keep talking staying real close but I dont make a move or isolate because im honestly a little shook not entirely sure what the play is.

 

This guy I met at the after party, really cool guy, comes and tells me they about to leave and heading back to his place for the after after party and I should come through. At this point I had a decision, i go with him and chill probably (almost definitely) not getting any pussy or I stick around the after party hit on other drunk and hot girls and most likely get pussy. I realized I have my priorities straight. I tell him yeah man just hmu when the taxi’s get here. I found out that stage hand girl and her friends are all good friends with cool guy, and we all heading to the after party. Two taxi’s come, Stage hand girl gets into the other one. I get some quality time with her friends. In the taxi ride we were talking and some how she came up and I was completely honest – like anyone who saw me and her there knew something was up these people aren’t blind – and i was like damn she cute but uhh shes older hmm. And her friends basically told me that I’m one of the few guys they seen her be so interested in and basically said she real into me. If age isn’t an issue I should ask her out on a proper date, now I feel this threw me off even more because I’m not trying to be in a relationship here and age is an issue for me there. Looking back this is one of the reasons why i disregarded the idea of trying to just hook up with her because I assumed she didn’t want that, but (hind sight 20/20) stage hand never made it apparent that she isnt trying to hook up and I never gave her a chance because I got this idea that she doesn’t from her friends. But oh well. I also found out in the taxi ride that the stage hand’s friend I’m talking to right now wanted to invite her other friend (random dude not in the story) to the after party too but turns out cool guy said the only mans whos invited (and not already part of the crew) was me. I heard this and I was like, man I am doing something right i love it. I met this guy today, hes pretty cool, he thinks im pretty cool, invited me to his place for the after after party and apparently its pretty exclusive cuz no other outsider got the invite, not even by connections. DAMN. you already know im feeling even better now.

 

So we go to the after party and smoke hookah and chill and have a great time, and then around 4 am ish the girls all leave ask if i want a ride home I’m like nah ill stay with the guys and chill, say goodbye, and go back then the guys bring out some “white powder” asked if I want to or nah (they being polite, i respeck that) and we do “lines” of said “powder”. First time for me, didnt really feel much different (might be due to the copious amounts of liquor already in my system not sure). Had a great time just chatting with the guys, talked about life, one of stage hand’s male friends who was there – who was a total white knight and thats the only part of his personality i wasn’t a fan of, saw it in some other situations throughout the night – is like if you like her and age isn’t an issue ask her out and date her but otherwise don’t play with her heart like thats not cool. And this all makes sense, but at the same time I’m thinking what if age is an issue for her and she don’t wanna date like why we all assumin she not cool to hook up. She didn’t say that + age could be an issue for her, but i didnt wanna ruin the mood so i just agreed and smiled, and it was a great night.

 

Thanks for reading this, honestly it was an eventful night, slept around 8:30 am. Woke up at noon got picked up and went home. Told some friends, felt depressed on the come down, but kept thinking like whats wrong with me last night was the best night of my life straight up why am i feeling like this… realized it was due to the “white powder” just dealt with it and well here i am now. I hope you guys enjoyed this wild ride as much as i did.

EDIT: added the insta story, forgot about that.

EDIT 2: spelling / grammar errors

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Advice for dating foreign girls

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Going on a movie date with a South East Asian girl who just moved here 6 months ago. Super cute but shy and a virgin. This is our third date and she’s okay with kino but doesn’t really open up emotionally. Any advice?

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