So you walk into a club, you start to feel nervous, the environment is overwhelming, the girls are intimidating, you’re on your own and it feels like everyone is judging you, you stand around for 20 mins trying to sum up the courage to approach…You decide to take Social Primes advice and `just be honest`
You see a girl you’re super attracted to, you start to walk towards her, on the way up your heart starts beating, you feel afraid, you have thoughts like `what if she rejects me` `she looks kind of bitchy`.
You awkwardly force each foot in front of the other and finally make it over to her. She looks at you with an expression like `what the fuck do you want you creep`
Then… you say “I want to have sex with you”. It comes out of your mouth like a squeaky mouse.
Next, she looks at you like you’re a piece of shit and then tells you to fuck off.
You walk away with the conclusion the `be honest` concept from Social Prime is a load of shit time to learn techniques to solve this problem.
After reading many comments in the Facebook group this story describes how the concept is often retardedly interpreted.
I have experienced the power of this concept in my life with unbelievable results during and after the immersion I took. Hung out with the SP crew a ton and seen how ‘effortless’ interacting with girls can become when applied correctly.
Firstly let`s clear up what Social Prime actually means by `honesty` within in an interaction. Next, we will look at how this is the path for game to finally become `effortless`.
How to use `honesty` within in an interaction?
The simplest way to describe what Social Prime means by honesty is ‘not trying to hide anything’ or ‘not wearing a mask’.
Girls are amazing at sensing bullshit, they are like walking lie detectors, their brains are literally wired this way. SO trying to hide behind a mask is like walking on a tightrope.
Not only can girls sense it, even if you can manage to hide it successfully you are harming yourself internally in the process (we will get into this later).
Your sub-communications are generated by what’s going on internally and emotionally.
The more closely what you say matches what’s going on internally and emotionally in the moment the more ‘honest’, the more congruent, the more authentic you are being.
In the opening story, an ‘honest’ thing to express would have been something like…
“I`m feeling quite overwhelmed by the environment but I felt attracted to you and decided to nervously come over here and introduce myself”
One thing that is likely to happen is the girl drops the bitchy look on her face, admires your courage, likes your realness and begins interacting with you.
Girls are attracted to authenticity and repulsed when they sense deception, neediness, and supplication.
However, the thing to focus on is not if the girl’s reaction is good or bad. The thing to focus on is are you living with personal integrity. ‘Integrity means congruence: words and behavior match.’ (pg 144 Six Pillars of Self Esteem)
As soon as you start trying to manipulate the girl’s reaction you are fundamentally supplicating to the girl and not living with personal integrity. The pick-up industry is one big giant supplication.
It also means you are hiding who you are from others which over time reinforces beliefs like ‘you are not good enough’. Especially if you have had beliefs like this from a young age.
Your beliefs about yourself and the world are always coming through in your sub-communications regardless if you express or not. Pick-up models are like a factory for reinforcing terrible beliefs.
‘Hiding from others means suppressing the potentialities of the unreleased self. If you cannot reveal yourself to others you can not reveal yourself to yourself. It does not only mean that you suppress who you are but also what you could be will never be forced by necessity to come forward, biological truth as well as conceptual.’ – Jordan Peterson
Now that the interaction has started you continue to be authentic throughout the interaction, moment to moment.
So…-You like something about her and want to tell her. You tell her.-You want to tell her what you had for breakfast. You tell her.-You dislike her behavior. You tell her.-You want to say a joke. You say it.-You want to be playful. You do it.-You think her joke isn’t funny. You don’t laugh.-You want to tease her you tease her.-Your bored of listening to her talk and talk about herself you put your finger on her mouth and tell her to ssh.-You want to kiss her. You kiss her.-Your feeling really horney and you want to fuck her. You tell her.Etc…
This is what naturals have been doing for centuries before pick-up even became a thing. The only thing is they don’t have all the blockages stopping them from expressing freely.
All the stuff the pick-up industry focuses on takes care of itself the more unblocked you become without even having to think about it. (E.g Qualifying, push-pull etc…) But on STEROIDS. Now it’s coming from a real place, its way more powerful and the girls notice.
Once you are unblocked girls literally start getting addicted to your presence, you see this with naturals. Think Hank Moody from Californication or Russell Brand. Do these guys think about what technique to use?
The more unblocked you become the easier it becomes. Different parts of your previously suppressed personality come out naturally. The more and more ‘effortless’ interacting becomes over time.
You can express dominanceYou can express vulnerabilityYou can be loudYou can be funYou can be challengingYou can be chill
How to become unblocked?
When a blockage arises. You have two options. Try and hide/suppress the blockage from the girl or just simply express it and own it (the ‘authentic’ route).
So any time you become blocked emotionally and feel stuck you simply express that.
For example, your standing with a girl, looking into her eyes, there is sexual tension. Internally you get that feeling it’s time to kiss her. But for some reason your afraid to do it, the fear cripples you.
Look her in the eyes and simply tell her you feel afraid to kiss her and ‘own it’. Own the fuck out of the fact that you’re afraid.
You’re not saying it as a technique to try and get the girl. You’re saying it because it’s real and expressing yourself and living with personal integrity is more important than getting the girl.
When you ‘own it’ it doesn’t come across as needy. It’s only needy if you say it to try and manipulate her. Instead, it shows a lot of bravery and self-respect. Which is very attractive. So most likely the sexual tension will grow stronger or you will snap out of it and kiss her.
Remember she can most likely already sense your hesitation at this point so by trying to hide your fear is not only supplicating but pointless, it causes distrust and it’s very unattractive.
You also compromise your own self-expression and it will actually work to decrease your self-esteem over time. Six Pillars of Self Esteem is an amazing book that covers this in depth.
When you express the blockages in this way, over time they lose their power over you. You get it off your chest. Your mind can now start processing and reshaping how it views the world and how ridiculous many of the blockages you have are.
Your limiting beliefs and emotional patterns will change, if applied correctly they change very fast.
Carl Jung would say “what you resist not only persists but will grow in size.” By surrendering, and expressing the blockages they shrink in size over time.
This is why so many guys end up hating the game quitting pick-up after a few years or rely on alcohol. All the suppressed emotions from wearing pick-up masks take its toll.
Everything they are resisting and covering up via external models grows over time. It takes effort to manipulate your own expression to maintain an image of someone you are not.
Benefits from applying ‘honesty’ and being authentic overtime…
1. All your internal blockages decrease over time and game becomes ‘effortless’
Once you have removed the blockage to approach, express yourself with a full range of emotions, move the interaction forward and removed a bunch of bullshit beliefs. Game is now ‘effortless’.
Say goodbye to…-Approach anxiety-Second guessing yourself and overthinking.-Not being able to move interactions forward.-Downward spirals and state crashes.-Low self-esteem.-Putting hot girls on pedestals.
2. You start having amazing connections and girls stay in your life
When you drop your mask, girls reciprocate by dropping their masks. You are now interacting with the real girl. Strong connections are a natural progression of this.
Welcome to a reality where girls…-Remember you and message you back and stop flaking-Trust you faster and have sex with you faster-Start hitting you up and chasing you
3. You feel much better about yourself.You experience huge increases in…-Self-esteem.-Natural confidence.-Happiness.-Motivation
4. Your beliefs about women and yourself changeYou will start to see…
-That women don’t care what you say but rather if you are owning what you say and if there is any incongruence (words and behavior/sub communications match)
-Girls love sex and will actually often help you make it happen when they sense no incongruence. They are on your team.
-Girls want to be approached
-Rejection in pick-up does not exist and is a misinterpretation of reality (that’s for another post)
5. You become better company to be around and more charismatic in all areas of your life
This one’s obvious. E.g That moment at work when you know you should speak up, you find yourself naturally doing it, without hesitation. By removing the blockage to speak up in pick-up it transfers to all areas of your life.
6. You start to see clearly what you want and stop chasing validation
By living with honesty and authenticity it extends to being honest with yourself. You start to see which of your behaviors are chasing validation and which ones are in alignment with what you want at a deep level.
That could be a girlfriend, crazy experiences, one night stands or open relationships. Whatever it is it doesn’t matter. The more you become clearer for what you want the more you will notice your expression optimizes to bring you this. In other words, you start going for what you want NOT what you think you want (e.g laycount).
7. There is no limit to your growth and it’s completely sustainable.
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