Where to approach

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Probably been asked a bunch already but I get the fact that one has to just face the fear/rejection and approach women they’re interested in with vulnerability and non neediness, but where does one approach? I have never done “daygame” and Ive only ever approached at a club/bar

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View Reddit by TempletonpaigetaylorView Source

My Golden Rule of pickup and how it helped me overcome approach anxiety.

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Yesterday I made [this post](https://www.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/b224z9/almost_4_years_ago_i_hit_rock_bottom_with_my_love/) about my experience in game. Most of the feedback you gave me was about the last point, so I wanted to create a new post to expand on it further.

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My Golden Rule for pickup is simple: *Leave them better than you found them.* I wish I could take credit for it, but it’s something I heard or read somewhere else. Unfortunately, I can’t remember where. It’s a mantra I carried throughout my time in the game and it always served me well. So well, in fact, that I have expanded it to include not just the women I approach, but every social interaction I have, be it with a woman or a man.

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But what does it mean to leave them better than you found them and how can you possibly do this with every single person you interact with? Ultimately, it comes down to being a value-giver or a value-taker. I like how John Maxwell puts it when he said you can either be a lifter or a stander. I see every interaction I have with someone as an opportunity to make their life, or even just their day, a little bit better. I can make them laugh, teach them something new, be an ear for them to vent to, or simply give them an enjoyable conversation. There are countless ways you can provide value. If I fail at that, then it’s likely that I’m actually taking value away. If I’m in a bad mood and let that affect my behavior, ask for favors without reciprocating, or use my words to hurt, just to give a few examples, then I’m actively taking value. When I act in such as way, one would be better off not interacting with me at all.

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So, how is all of this talk about value-giving vs value-taking going to help you get over approach anxiety?

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When I first started with game, I would approach a woman and subconsciously be thinking, *Hehehe, I going to go talk to this girl, use the latest techniques I read on seddit, she will think this is actually who I am and she will give me her phone number.* **In other words, I approached women with the intent of taking value from them** (i.e. her attention, her phone number, her time and, if I was lucky, her body). I consider myself a good person, so deep down this didn’t sit well with me, even if at the time I couldn’t explain exactly why. This feeling manifested itself in the form of approach anxiety. I felt bad that I was taking value without providing value in return, so I would get nervous.

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Over time, I noticed changes in myself that changed my interactions with women. I was on a major self-improvement kick. I was trying new things, pursuing hobbies, traveling, making new friends, killing it at work and getting in better physical shape. As a result, my mindset changed when I would make an approach. I felt excited rather than nervous. Eventually, there came one particular approach where before I took my first step, I thought to myself, *this girl doesn’t know it yet, but I’m about to make her night.* That was my light bulb moment .

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Can you see the difference between the two mindsets I had? **As a beginner, I was actively trying to take value and hoping no one would notice. In my new mindset, I was excited to give value.** This is what took my game to the next level. Before I made an approach, I would think, *I don’t know how this interaction will end, but I can guarantee her night will be better for having met me.* Once I had that mindset, approaching was easy.

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How do you access that mindset though? I came about it organically and accidentally by actively trying to improve myself as a person. While I highly recommend trying to grow as a person, you can achieve this mindset by living the mantra stated above: *Leave them better than you found them*. If you walk into every approach with this as your one and only goal, amazing things will happen.

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View Reddit by SwoleBuddhaView Source

Asking College girls what they Find most attractive about Guys

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I went around in my college to ask what they find most attractive about guys and this is what everyone had to say about this!!

>>[https://youtu.be/tJu4kHdXEGs](https://youtu.be/tJu4kHdXEGs)

https://i.redd.it/5fvhdh85nlm21.jpg


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View Reddit by AGUIDETORICHLIFEView Source

The Power of Connection

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For 31 years I never knew about eye contact and the power it held when talking to people. Especially when talking to women. I never felt that connection before and I have to say that it’s pretty awesome if you know how to do it properly without creeping the girl out lol. I always got rejected in the past because of that. I got a couple dates but it was purely based upon looks. I got so good with eye-contact that I’m able to hold a conversation and lead. After I learned that I used to take rejection seriously and wonder why it happened. I even got obsessed and wasted 2-3 years of my life over one girl which was sad and pathetic. Now I’m able to flirt with any girl and instantly move on because I know how to create that connection with someone else.

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View Reddit by darksidessj25View Source

The best way to eliminate approach anxiety

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The best way to eliminate approach anxiety

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View Reddit by NaturalPrefN3View Source

WTF is going on in the mind of this woman?

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So I recently reconnected with an ex. I checked her FB and talked to some of our mutual friends. Apparently she’s suffering from anxiety and has huge financial problems and she seems to like to drink alot. But in our conversations she’s completely contradicting everything. She tells me she doesn’t have depression and doesn’t have financial problems and that she’s completely quit drinking. Also I know for a fact that she’s socially withdrawn because she recently broke up with her boyfriend whom she shared all her friends with but she simply brushed off her social withdrawal as she can’t be bothered socialising with new people. Basically every problem she has she’s swept under a rug with some lie.

Is this some form of denial? I’ve never seen anyone make so many self contradicting statements as her.

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View Reddit by balkoth666View Source

She confuses me

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I don’t think she is playing games as she is not the type of girl to do so. I also knew her before I asked her out. It’s her texting and level of interest that confuses me. She goes to university and I won’t be seeing her for about 3 months. I’ve not gone on a date with her yet, she has invited me down their to drink but I want to go on a proper date first.

She initiates with texting every now and then but then once I reply she reply’s back with something that always ends the conversation like “hahaha that’s great” why even start talking when she doesn’t want to talk? It’s also hard to get to know her she seems stiff as though she doesn’t want to tell me anything and I want to no everything about her! We hardly used to text before I asked her out as she has a boyfriend. But it was going well for a while and now it seems to have dyed down. I just want to go on that date with her and see how it goes. But I feel like I must keep in contact over this period but she’s it making it hard. When she puts something it’s like she’s putting it just for something to say to me most of the time.

I’m thinking of not contacting her for a while, I guess we don’t have anything to say to each other until she comes back. But silence for 3 months, I don’t want her to think I’m not interested. To be honest though my interest has gone down a lot because she’s just acting so reserved all the time and it feels like she doesn’t want me to talk to her. But then she will keep initiating every now and then. Also with Valentine’s Day coming up I don’t no what to do. At first I was thinking of sending flowers down to her room at uni, then I was just going to say happy Valentine’s Day but now I don’t know. Will it upset her if I say nothing or do nothing. Or will it seem creepy if I do something. She is a really shy girl as well so she is hard to read.

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View Reddit by [deleted]View Source

Tatoo alternative ?

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Good morning everyone,

You know how being different can help you in the seduction field. And even though it is getting more common, a pretty tatoo can make a difference. Yet, I can’t decide of a drawing I would love for my whole life (except a small calvin to match with my sister). And getting a tatoo just to seduce and not because I love it is non sense to me.

Would you have any clue of what could be that impactful or are a tatoo something with no way to escape them ?

A

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View Reddit by Thegreenturtle75View Source