The return of the “PUA”

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First, i was never fully involved in daygame training, the closest i was from there was practicing with women i met in work, in a store, etc. more like a library rat, learning a lot about theory, but almost nothing compared with i could do, it may be an important factor of this phenomena.

Due reasons that in the end are not more than excuses, i left the social dynamic practice, and became near to the boi i was before knowing the community, with an invisible wall of “rust” in me. I percieve that my hability to “translate” women or corporal language, as the mood of people in most of cases is fading more slowly, thing that i can lean on to continue (or begin) my training, and also gives me a hope (the flesh is weak, overall for sloth when you realize how far you are from your objectives).

Does this happen only in this case, or is it more normal, maybe something we all have to deal with?

In any case, Im thankful to recieve a tip to overcome this, as someone in the same situation that could be helped…

success for you all

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PRACTICAL advice for men to be more attractive. Sorry if some of this is obvious.

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Having been very self-conscious about being super unattractive when I was younger (brown kid in super white english town, super skinny, hit puberty super late), I’ve paid close attention to what makes people more attractive and put effort into becoming more attractive, and recently I feel like it’s worked.

Here’s a run down of practical advice (some of which I’ve followed myself) that I think can make you seem more attractive. I’m not advocating that you change your personality to suit what society sees as more attractive or anything, or that the only reason you should be kind is to get girls – it’s just that I’ve noticed these things are perceived as attractive. And I’m not saying being attractive and being in a relationship will make you happy. If you’re happy to change yourself a little to be more attractive, then I think you should follow the advice. It’s all about how much you’d rather stay true to who think you are. For me, I didn’t change anything that I valued about myself.

General Tip : Charisma on Command have amazing YouTube videos on applied psychology.

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I think the main aspects of being attractive are being funny, confident and positive (more than looks).

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**Number one tip : smile more.**

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**How can you actually get funnier?**

– **Watch comedies** (recommended – B99, Parks and Rec, etc.) You’ll start to pick up the humour.

– **Follow popular meme pages**. You’ll start to pick up the humour.

– Pay attention to what people around you laugh at. Try and apply that kind of humour.

– If you have to, look up jokes online so that you can tell them randomly or if an appropriate situation arises.

– Experiment. If you’re not a funny person, you’re going to inevitably create some awkward silences, but it’s probably worth it. Eventually you’ll start making people laugh, which will make you feel great and also more attractive.

In general try to avoid dark humour, overtly sexual humour or self-depricating humour, because the first two can make you seem creepy and the third can make you seem less confident.

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**How can you actually seem more confident?**

– **POSTURE**. Look up AthleanX’s YouTube videos on posture.

– Body Language. Open body language makes you more approachable. Charisma on Command on Youtube is great for this.

– Try and walk with confidence. If you want to, you can literally look up YouTube videos on walking in a cooler way.

– Actually being more confident. Stop telling yourself you’re not good enough. Tell yourself that you’re the shit (but also equal to everyone else don’t start being a dick). Try and face your fears in social situations. Speak to strangers. Stop procrastinating. Improve yourself generally. Work hard at things. Exercise. Be kinder.

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Also I read somewhere that kindness and generosity is seen as more attractive. Obviously you should be those things anyway, but if you’re trying to be a dick alpha male to be attractive, I really don’t think that’s gonna work. [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/kindness-attractive_n_6063074?ec_carp=2773262034116512143&guccounter=1](https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/kindness-attractive_n_6063074?ec_carp=2773262034116512143&guccounter=1)

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**Hobbies**

In my opinion there are hobbies that make you more attractive.

– Learn to sing well or try to improve your singing. YouTube is great for this.

– Learn to play an instrument, I think an acoustic guitar is the most attractive

– Some kind of martial art / self defence

– Reading.

– Write poetry or prose or something. [https://www.wattpad.com/](https://www.wattpad.com/)

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**Physical Attractiveness**

– Follow male models / actors on social media to get an idea of what is generally considered attractive

– Exercise (going to the gym will make you look more muscular so is probably your best option in terms of exercise). I recommend AthleanX on YouTube.

– Take care of your skin, benzoyl peroxide is great, use a moisturiser

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**Hair**

– If you’re not sure about whether you like your hairstyle, I recommend copying a famous person’s hairstyle

– You can watch videos about getting and maintaining different hairstyles on YouTube

– Short back and sides generally looks better than leaving everything even length

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– If you’re not sure what to ask for at the barbers, show them a picture (of a celeb or of you when your hair looked good)

– Google what fades and tapers and numbers etc mean if you don’t understand them so you can communicate better with your barber

– Leaving your hair a bit longer is usually safer than getting it cut a bit shorter

– Make a Google doc of what exactly you want to ask your barber for in the future if you don’t want to use a picture

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– Consider getting your eyebrows threaded/trimmed/shaped or tweezering between your eyebrows

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**Smell**

– Shower every morning

**-** use enough deodorant that if you sniff your clothes you can smell it, but you can’t smell it otherwise

– roll-on antiperspirants are the most effective. Apply them at night before you go to sleep. I recommend Loreal Men.

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**Fashion**

**-** I’m brown and I really believe **certain colours suit you better depending on your skin colour** and eye colour (for me – black, white, khaki)

– You can get an idea of what styles look good from IG models and actors, obviously you probably can’t afford their actual clothes but you can get similar cheaper alternatives. @davidjamesseed does affordable fashion on IG. Asos is great for cheap clothes and has a good variety.

– **When you’re out in public, pay attention to men whose outfits you like and try and copy their style.**

– It may be useful to make a decision between buying fewer more expensive clothes or more cheaper clothes depending on your style.

– check out thread.com, you get personalised free style advice

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If you want to seem more attractive to a particular person, try to engage with their interests. Follow who they follow, watch what they watch, read what they read, listen to what they listen to, do what they do. (I’m not telling you to stalk them, please don’t stalk them).

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Aaand there you go.

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Rekindling with friend of a friend

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3 months ago – I recently broke up with my gf and my friend told me her friend had a crush on me so we we all go out to the bars and I make a k-close on her and we dance together the whole night. The following couple days we go on a few dates that went well but no sex but we do make out. She says she’ll text me the next time she is free and wants to go out. Few days pass by she still hasn’t texted me and I reach out her saying I had a good time with her and that I’d like to see her again. She said I do too but I see us better as friends. A Month later we go out to the bars and I see her there while I’m talking to another girl, she comes up to me and hugs me and I ask her how she’s been. And she was like “wow I didn’t think a cute guy like you would be talking to me rn” and then we danced the whole night while she keeps holding my hand, and grind. She left impromptu because her friend got too drunk and I didn’t close. I leave to go back home because I’m in college and we snap over the break and flirt a little but not too much. Back in college now and We’ve hung out in our friend groups and flirt a little and still keep in touch. Do you think it’s worth me asking her to hangout one on one again in hopes of rekindling something or is this a lost cause?

Every time we hangout sober she’s kinda cold and doesn’t react well to my flirting but when’s she’s drunk she tends to be all over me

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In my 30s.. where do I meet women?

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So here’s the thing: I read over and over “it’s a numbers game” but I got no numbers.

So where do I meet women? I can’t drink at the moment (long story) but do enjoy ballroom dance. Been dancing for years and seems I have mixed success and want other places to meet women.

Follow up question: how do I deal with the idea that “you’re only here to meet chicks?!” I mean, they’re not totally wrong, but if I crash and burn with a girl, how do I ask her friend out without seeming like she’s second best / I’m just desperate

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Life hacks on how to get laid (guide for dudes)

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This thread is on how to get laid/hook ups. Note that if you are the sickest player who slays everyday, this is not for you. This is for the average guy, who just want to get some of that good-good, I’m by no means a guru, but I really wish i had known these facts a few years back, as it would have helped A LOT.

Also what i will be talking about is universally speaking, so wont apply to every situation of course. This will only help you get a glimpse into the mystery of the female psychology of attraction. Some important factors that come in to play when looking for some hook-ups are:

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– Looks: I won’t go into much details here: you look how you look guys. You can always get buff or dress good, but this will only give you an advantage in hooking up, so it is not the most important thing. You should try to stay clean, smell good and stay in shap, but honestly you should be doing that regardless of if you are looking to hook up or not.

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– Confidence: You knew this would be here. No one knows what it is, but everybody knows what it looks like. In hooking up confidence is the difference between the girl getting bored out or getting wet. Now this one is a little tricky, but generally you can say this: do things that make you feel good about yourself. For some that means getting buff, for some it means working harder/more money for others it about doing something you are passionate about. No this does not mean you have to “be alpha” and focus on seeming more confident. You can act confident all you want and this might even work on some girls, but most people in general will try to get an impression of what you truly think of yourself. If you stutter, lack eye-contact and show other low self-esteem, which you btw will if you have low self-esteem, other people will catch on. You can control your posture, expressions ect., but you will always project your opinion of yourself subconsiously. Do things that make you feel good, work on your insecurities and again getting girls should not be the only reason you do this, you will be happier in general.

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– Fear of rejection: This one is an exstension of my prior point: You can not be afraid of rejection from anyone. Now you will always be this to some degree, but if your fear of rejection is too high you will ultimately shoot yourself in the foot while interacting with people. It is insecurity. You should not NEED to be accepted you should WANT to be accepted. This one is a hard one boys, you can only destroy this insecurity by going out and get rejected…. a lot. I got over my fear of rejection by doing something pretty stupid but also high risk/high reward. I went up to my crush and straight up asked her if she wanted to hang out (actually half thinking she would say no). She did in fact also say no, but that was not the point :P. Sure it felt like a slap to the face , but taking that from a girl i had feelings for, i now barely feel anything from girls i don’t have any feelings for. As you get rejected more you start to feel numb to it and stop taking it so personally

– Numbers game: Which brings me to my next point: you should think of “the dating market” purely as a numbers game. Here is the deal: if you, like me, and most of guys on earth, is an average joe, and you went out downtown where you live and asked 100 girls for their number immiediaty at least 70-80 of them would shut you down right then and there. Most girls, even the average/slightly below average ranked girls have guys at work, nights out, on social media, tinder ect. approaching them every day: they have options. Guys also have options, but it does not even compare. The rule usually is the better looking the girl, the more options. And so they get to filter out and choose who they want and dont want. Also she could already be taken, be busy with work/school or maybe she just doesnt like color on the shirt you where wearing that day. My point shoot as many shots as possible and will end up scoring a few points a long the way. Also guys aim realisticly, you are much likely to pick up a 6/10 girl than a 10/10 girl, again: numbers game.

– Progression: In most cases girls have within 5 seconds of talking to you already decided if she wants to fuck you or not. I recommend assuming you can fuck her can until rejection. If she decides you are attractive and cute, and you guys continue interacting she will bang you. It’s that simple. Some girls like to just act like they want to bang tho, be aware of these types. Every girl has a different pace, some you can bang the same day you meet, some want to wait weeks, some want to wait till after marriage. Here is the deal: even if a chick wants to bang you, there is still much room for fucking shit up. Most common mistake guys (I’m guilty of this one) make is coming on to strong or being too passive. There is a fine line in between there that you have to learn to develop, which is key to getting laid. What kind of girl is she? How does she respond to your advances? How comfortable does she seem? Usually a girl stifens up a bit if you are pushing her limits. Slow down tiger and try again some other time. If she likes your advances she will act like nothing/respond back. The golden rule here is: Always. Move. Forward. Always initiate more. Most important part here to just be fine with the pace she sets for the interaction. You decide yourself if things are moving to slow and you want to move on.

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Pretty basic stuff really, but effective approach. You don’t really have to do anything you just have to change some of your perspectives, play your odds and be patient. You should always focus on the chemistry rather than focusing on the end-goal. Just have fun along the way and enjoy the excitement really. If any female redditors are reading tell me what you think about my observations about female attraction. You, my apprentice “Average Joe”, are now a jedi knight, go out there and make me proud :’)

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