* Nothing is more important than confidence
If you are a confident man, women will be more attracted to you, more likely to make an effort to continue a conversation and more forgiving of any mistakes you make during an approach.
* Appreciate the process. Don’t expect immediate results.
This is a long process and I can’t count how many men I met during my journey who got into game with the same eagerness as I did, but would soon burnout when they didn’t see the results they expected right away. I suffered through a lot of brutal nights that shook my confidence and left me wondering if I would ever get to where I wanted to be. In these moments I had to remind myself that I wasn’t doing this for immediate gratification and these brutal nights were learning experiences that would pay dividends in the future. If you let the lows knock you out of the game, you won’t get to experience the highs waiting for you up ahead.
* Your opener doesn’t have to anything special as long as you deliver it confidently.
I missed out on countless opportunities because I felt like I didn’t have the perfect opener. Eventually I learned that a simple, but confidently stated, “Hi, I’m SwoleBuddha. How’s your night going?” worked just as well as anything else.
* Be funny, but not a dancing monkey.
Women like funny men, but if all you’re doing is throwing out jokes, you will come across as one-dimensional and won’t build any genuine, long-lasting attraction.
* Don’t give up on an approach just because it doesn’t immediately go well.
Sometimes a girl will be into you from the word go. If this happens, consider yourself lucky. More often, a girl will be intrigued, but skeptical. She won’t appear interested, but she’ll still be standing in front of you. This can be difficult for a beginner because the pressure of continuing the conversation will entirely be on you. If you’re anything like me, you will be overcome with awkwardness and will want to bail. Don’t bail just yet. Sometimes it takes women a minute to warm up to you. You are, after all, a complete stranger, who just struck up a conversation with her. Power through the initial awkwardness and give the woman a chance to show her personality.
* Don’t drink when you go out
It’s expensive and if you’re going out multiple times every week, will be bad for your wallet and your health. Also, you’re trying to learn a skill. If you need alcohol to talk to a girl, you’re not really learning, you’re avoiding learning.
* Success with women will exacerbate other problems in your life.
I met a lot of guys on my journey who were into game, but really needed to focus on general self-improvement first. Having a girlfriend is difficult and if the rest of your life is a mess, your other problems will only grow. This doesn’t mean you need to be earning six figures before you ever talk to a girl, but be able to hold a steady job. Get a handle on your other responsibilities before you get into game.
* Have standards and stick to them.
The hottest girl you can get is the hottest girl you can walk away from. I didn’t make up that line, but I can’t remember who did. Learn what qualities you like and value in a woman and don’t waste your time with women who don’t meet your expectations.
* Embrace an abundance mentality.
Things aren’t going to work out with every woman you hope it works out with. Such is life. But you’re a total pimp and you can meet an even better woman tomorrow. If you can approach dating and pickup with that mindset, you will be all the better for it and save yourself a lot of headaches.
* Leave them better than you found them.
In any interaction you have, be it romantic or platonic, remember to be a value-giver and not a value-taker. I didn’t overcome my approach anxiety until I could look at the woman I wanted to approach and say to myself, and mean it, “*I don’t know how this interaction will end, but I can guarantee her night will be better for having met me*.” That’s an extremely empowering attitude. If you truly believe that you can bring joy to another person’s life, there’s no reason *not* to talk to them. But you won’t get this feeling until your intentions are congruent with the above mantra. When your priority is to bring joy into the lives of others, there’s no room for lies, games, vengeance or deceit.
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