There is a quote in Models by Mark Manson, “always err on the side of assertiveness”.
I am a fairly indecisive person overall, not being able to choose what I want from a menu, what to wear that day, what movie to watch, unfortunately this is a highly unattractive trait to women. If a girl asks what do you want to do, and your reply is “ummm idk up to you” “whatever u wanna do”, this comes across as indecisive and not confident, it does not elicit attraction.
That is why you always, in a position of either being indecisive or doing nothing, or being decisive and taking action, you ALWAYS do the latter.
From past experiences I can think of two examples where I was indecisive and where I was assertive.
The first, I went out with a girl to the movies, we got some sushi, watched the movie and had a pretty good time, didn’t really have any expectations at the time and really would be happy with just having a nice date. She ended up asking me to come over, to show off the new house she moved into. We went back to her place and just made a bit of conversation, until I said we should watch a horror movie or something. This is when full blown fucking idiocy kicks in, buckle up. We start watching this movie in her bed, and about 5 minutes in she says she wants to get changed, and puts on these tight booty shorts and a t shirt, and lays down next to me. We continue watching the movie and after about 15 minutes I kind of figure maybe I should make a move, so I lean in for the kiss and she kisses me back, make out for about 5 minutes until we continue watching the movie. For one reason or another my big dumb man brain figured, if she wants to have sex it will be pretty clear as in the past my ex-girlfriends have whispered something dirty or put their hand on my thigh, but she ended up just laying and watching the movie. So I didn’t try to push any further for sex, and we ended up just kissing and going to sleep. Another fucking episode of brain damage occurred when she said “I like to fall asleep to music” and put on a spotify playlist of “songs to have sex to”.
What do I do: “haha no problem its relaxing goodnight”.
I still audibly cringe about this today.
Shockingly, as much as we got on really well at the time and had great chemistry, a couple days later she stopped replying to my texts, and I asked her if she wanted to hang out again or just be friends and she said the latter.
Women do not like men who don’t take action, who are indecisive and come across as pussies.
Disclaimer this does not mean you have to try and fuck every single girl or that every single girl is expecting to have sex, but what it shows is that in a situation where you either don’t take action or do take action, if you don’t make the move, 99% of the time the evening will amount to nothing, but if you make the move either she will be down, or she’ll tell you straight up she doesn’t want to, but you have to make the effort at the beginning so that you open up the possibility of something happening.
The second situation was a few days ago, and another girl ended up coming over to my house to watch a movie at about 11:45 at night. Having learned from the last experience and having been out with a few more girls and having some idea of experience, I said to myself, “if in doubt, just fucking go for it”. This girl came over and we started watching Superbad (classic btw) and eating some pizza I ordered. However she wasn’t displaying any of the signs that you typically read about or that I had previously seen from previous girlfriends that she was keen, wasn’t making much eye contact, really just focused on the movie, sitting with her legs crossed away from me. If I was still a big dumb pussy I would assume, well she doesn’t seem very keen, she probably isn’t down to get physical. But I remember what I said said, and thought, well she came over to my place in the middle of the night to watch a movie, she must be at least somewhat interested, so I thought fuck it. I said “hey” and she looked at me, and I put my hand on her neck and kissed her. Her reply “I’ve been waiting for you to do that all night”. This is an important fucking lesson, girls may not always give off super blatant signs that they are interested but it doesn’t mean they aren’t still keen. We end up making out and having learned from last time, I figured I’ll just keep going for it unless she tells me not to. I just went for it, I took off her top, doesn’t stop me, took off my top and her pants, doesn’t stop me and you can figure out how it went from there.
This example so easily could have just amounted to jack shit, with us just sitting and watching a movie and her going home, but because I at least tried, it ended up that she was keen.
So I hope these few examples are a bit insightful, and with this by no means is this a blanket statement that every single girl wants to kiss or wants to have sex, but what it showed me is that:
If you don’t make a move, 99% of the time nothing will happen.
If you make a move, usually if it seemed like a good idea at the time (you’re in bed together, she’s seeming interested etc) it usually ends up progressing and going well.
So I’m keeping this philosophy from now on as so far it has a 100% success rate.
When in doubt, just fucking go for it.
View Reddit by Kava1298 – View Source