I’ve beaten Approach Anxiety. What’s Next?

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Hi guys. I’m hoping this post helps both me and any of you in the same situation. That’s why I’ve decided to add all these details.

I must have cold approached at least 1000 girls by this point. I’ve gotten into several relationships (shorter- and longer-term) and lots of lays (about 120) in the past with cold approaches, but I suspect much of it was attributed to my decent looks and youthful energy/charm. As I’ve reached 32 years old, however, I find things aren’t as consistent as they used to be, despite me being the most driven I’ve ever been, in the best shape of my life, and the most interesting, confident and best overall person I’ve ever been.

Some advice I got from the Good Looking Loser (website) a long time ago was:
Step 1. Look as good as you can
Step 2. Talk to girls
That’s basically what I’ve been doing my entire life and it really helped me simplify my approach to game. It kind of permitted me to NOT game, if that makes sense. I just talked like a normal person. It worked really well, till now. I’ve always been much more inclined to do “direct/normal/natural game” rather than “game game” (you know what I mean?). Example of a typical approach: “Hi. I saw you from across the room/street/venue and you look nice. I’m Max. Are you single?” I’ve done this so many times that even hard rejections are as emotionally tough to deal with as doing dishes. Fear of rejection = practically zero. In fact, I’m at the point now that some rejections are positively relieving, because at least then I won’t be walking around the rest of the day wondering if that girl was my soulmate or whatever.

About a month ago, after I realized how poorly I’ve been doing the past half year, I decided to make a tally of girls I’ve asked out. After every approach, I write down if the result was “no/not single” or “yes/gave number”. Then I have to wait for a few days or a week to see if the “yes” girls followed through with a date. The current tally so far is 40 girls asked out: 30 “no” and 10 “yes” but only 4 of the “yes” girls went on a date with me. This made me realize that my text game must be abysmal, and/or the initial interaction was off on my end. Maybe not enough rapport in the initial convo, I don’t know, I’ve always been bad with external game (or as most people call it, “game”).

I must mention that I’m aware 40 approaches in 1 month might be very low if you’re going with the “approach every girl you see” method, but I only approach girls I’m genuinely very attracted to and I’m pretty much done with approach anxiety, so I don’t need the practice anymore.

I must stress that in most of the interactions with girls who initially said yes to number/date, then later flaked/ghosted on me, they were VERY enthusiastic and attracted in person. I’m certain of this because of my experience and their obvious interest and flirting. No doubt about it whatsoever. Some of these girls were practically jumping with joy (it was mutual). Then something happens between that brief interaction and the text conversation that I can’t pinpoint. And here I am on reddit because I don’t want to repeat the exact same action/process over and over again my whole life expecting different results. I have to adapt and improve.

There’s a reason I wrote my notch number. 120 is a pretty big number to most guys, yes, I’m aware of that. But I’m starting to realize that I relied on my decent looks and optimistic/youthful energy my whole life without working on actual inner game or outer game as much. I’ve especially neglected outer game because most outer game seemed too robotic and inorganic but I’m finally open to begin practicing actual game so long as it doesn’t involve deceit or manipulation or any of that weird “look at my hand, now imagine it’s a cube, now imagine a horse OK NOW LOOK I HAVE A DICK!” kind of thing.

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My basic question is this. If overcoming approach anxiety is the first major step to achieve in seduction, then when one has overcome approach anxiety, what is the next direct step after that? Step TWO (of the never-ending learning process)? I want to view this as a linear path or progression, if you will.

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TL;DR: Used to be a motherfuckin pimp lol not really but my notch number is higher than the average guy despite not having much actual game skills or social aptitude (extremely clumsy and often lucky game).

I feel as though I’ve finally and completely overcome approach anxiety.

I’m having trouble closing dates from cold approaches lately despite being the best person I’ve ever been and getting very good initial attraction and phone text message engagement.

Regretting not practicing actual (outer) game many years ago.

Wondering what the next direct step is in this journey after overcoming approach anxiety.

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Just received nudes from a cute girl for the first time

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Is there any correct way to smoothly compliment her for this?

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If a girl says your attractive, does that mean she personally thinks you’re attractive or that other people might think that?

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Here’s a conversation I had with a girl in real life.

**Me**: I hooked up with Amy last week, and it was amazing. She’s the hottest girl I’ve ever been with.

**Coworker**: Really? I think you could do better.

**Me**: Why do you say that?

**Coworker**: Well, if you don’t mind me saying, I think the main reason you don’t get girls is they think you’re gay and don’t realize you want to date them. I don’t think your looks are the problem.

**Me**: Hmmm, I’ll try and keep that in mind.

What do you think caused her to say that “looks aren’t the problem”? Do you think she finds me attractive?

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What to say other than Hello in texts? How do i make friends?

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I even look up to girls bio and try to find something about them and ask them.
But my questions always get one word answers like they arent interested.

I just want to make some friends online thats it.

How do i avoid yes/no questions??
How do i make girls care for me or give me attention like i do?

I always send more than i recieve. I send 2 sentence messages to get one fucking word out of them.

My most questions are like “what do you do for fun”
“Hey devil”
“Hey *name of the person*”
“Hey, how is your day going”
“So what brought you here? Lonliness?”

I always get one word replies then they lose interest and leave me on read and never reply even if i send them ton of messages.

Im i really that stupid ? Im i really that boring and dumb and uninteresting?? And that worthless that idiotic?

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First kiss close in a club (with a fat chick)

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Since I’m studying in colombia and I still don’t have many friends, I went to a club alone. It was so crowded you couldn’t move at all without bumping into someone. I made my way to the back wall where I post up on a half wall and procrastinate approaching. I pretend to check my phone when I’m really freaking out about being in such a crowded venue. I start dancing and then make eye contact with a girl and then we start grinding (I learned how to start dancing with girls at the club the last time I went out so that wasn’t too hard). Tonights mission was to get a kiss close. There is a dude that is staring at me so I hold eye contact because I thought it was an alpha test but it turns out he was gay. I found out when I was grinding with the girl and then he starts grinding on her from behind and tries to pull me in closer. A bit wired but whatever. The girl asks how old I am so I lie and say 25 (I’m 19) because she seems about that age. She tells me she is 30. We keep dancing but then she leaves abruptly. I think its because I didn’t start making out with her.

I try approaching other girls but I’m in a wired headspace now so I get rejected. Since I’m alone I wander to another group of friends and start dancing by some of the girls so I can gauge which are interested. I start dancing with another and then escalate to grabbing her ass. We dance for a while and I was waiting for the right time to kiss close but it never came. She tells me she has to go to her friends birthday party somewhere else so I pull her close and we kiss and say bye. I also told her I was 25 because she was 24 and actually works at the University I attend in Colombia.

I try to approach other girls but get rejected a few more times. Then I start dancing with a girl who eventually asks me to buy her a beer. I say I don’t drink and then she ignores me so I walk away haha.

Since the club had an expensive cover there weren’t many people my age so next time I will go somewhere cheaper so other college students will be there. I think that was a hindrance on my success. Plus there were just a lot of old people. I am happy with my results tonight and in a month I will be able to consistently and easily get kiss closes!

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The ONE and ONLY reliable way I know of… to find a good girl in the West

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This is the ONLY reliable way – above all else – that I know of… to find a good girl suited for a relationship.

That is if you define good girl as someone that you can trust and get into a relationship with.

What is YOUR biggest red flag in a girl?

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsiHuvJ-OKA&feature=youtu.be](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsiHuvJ-OKA&feature=youtu.be)

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How to get free pictures taken for tinder?

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I’ve been tindering for 3 years, and after all my experience I learned that this game is literally all pictures. How does a guy like me with no friends get good candid pictures taken?
My only idea is to look like a tourist and ask random people to take pictures.

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Anyone with aspergers or autism here

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Here that does gaming or seduction?

Gosh it is so hard for us !

We are basically almost disabled in the socialising aspect so its 100x hard for us.

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