I’m jaded and disillusioned with dating. I typically cold approach women, get their contact info, and take them on actual dates.
It’s exhausting, because as a guy, you have to do all the work of thinking of interesting date ideas and venues and working out the logistics for people who have probably *never* had to set up a date before, and need only wait for somebody to ask them out. And despite all that effort of initiating contact, approaching the person, taking them somewhere, etc. etc., 8/10 will still end up ghosting you somewhere along the way, instead of taking the time to just tell you they aren’t interested in any further dates. The other two will at least have the courtesy to take the two seconds out of their day to let you know they aren’t interested. They will still say things like “You’re a really sweet and caring and considerate guy, I’m just going through a lot of stuff right now and am not ready to date,” only for you to see them with some other more attractive guy in a week’s time when you run into them at some party. But I honestly don’t think women owe me an explanation or justification if they aren’t interested in me. All I ask is that you send a text, a text that need not even explain *why*, rather than just ghosting. It’s literally the least effort anybody could possibly be asked. But eight out of ten won’t even think you’re worth that, because you’re disposable to them and they can easily get a guy whenever they want one.
It seems like the guys who aren’t dating, and are just picking people up and hooking up with them are very content with this. Thus far, I haven’t been looking for anything specific, and have felt that I would be equally content with either finding a girlfriend, or having casual sex. I’ve not had much of an expectation as to whether these dates would lead to long-term dating or something casual.
But with the lack of success I’ve had dating, I no longer want to expend the effort necessary to do it. All I really want to do now is achieve the social validation and physical gratification that comes with being able to have sex with attractive people. Yes, social validation. Of course I’m basing some of my self-esteem on whether attractive people find me desirable enough to actually want me to touch them. I could just derive all of my self-worth from my career or some shit like that, being happy and fulfilled despite never sleeping with attractive people, being content in my place in life as the kind of guy who has to “wait to meet the right person” who will only come when he’s sufficiently successful in his other life endeavours. But I don’t want to do that. I just want to have fun now having consensual sex with attractive people. That’s what I want advice on.
So, how do I do that? And, I do appreciate that you mean well when you say, “don’t worry about that, just work on yourself, have cool hobbies, and be successful, and eventually somebody will come along!”, but that’s advice doesn’t suit my particular aim.