(keep in mind English is not my first language, also it’s a long story so happy reading !)
Hey guys ! My first post here, today I’m gonna tell you my story about me and my roommate.
A little info about me, i am a 19 years old and i live in an house with 2 roommates and this girl, i’m gonna call her Lolo, she has the same age as me. I have a big crush on her, she is funny and cool, beautiful and pretty chill when we spend some time together but I have to say I wasn’t able to tell her…
But something happened yesterday, we made a party with some friends i didn’t see since months ago, there was some much alcohol and weed, i drank, enough to be in a good party mood and smoke too (first joints though). My friends and my other roommates knew about my crush for her, and it was hurting me too much, they were telling me “Come on man ! Go tell her already !!!” and i wasn’t able to, because i was afraid of the future (would be pretty cringe for the next weeks ect..) and i don’t have that much experiences for that..
But later, Lolo said she wanted to go to bed, immediately all of my friends look at me, meaning that it was my time to shine. And because of the alcohol and weed, i was in a mood where i would be able to tell her, and i knew that if i do not tell her, i will regret it heavily.
So 2 minutes before she goes to bed, im standing up, following her to her room before she close the door, I ask her if i can talk to her :
Me – “Hey Lolo, i need to talk to you about something before you sleep, please.”
Her – “Yeah what is it about ?”
Me – “No i need to be with you in private, it’s a big thing i need to tell you”
Her – “Oh, what is it about ?”
I enter the room and directly close the door, and here i am, with her, with the worst feeling in my head : fear of rejection.
Me – “I think you already know this… uuuh… ” I chuckle, i can’t find my words, i’m completly in a no-comfort zone
Her – “What is it about ? I sincerely don’t know what do you want to tell me”
Me – “Okay, you gonna find this stupid but, it’s been since 6 months that i know you, and you’re pretty cool and all, and i always enjoy spending time with you, so… I profit of this occasion and the fact that i’m quite drunk and high to tell this, but, Lolo, i have some feelings for you, big feelings, i wanted to tell you that. The fact that you move out in June is pressuring me to tell you that, i don’t ever want to regret, sorry for not having be clear since the start. Im a mess, i know that, but at least you know the truth now”
Her – “Oh.. I sincerely didn’t saw that you were feeling that for me, you’re an amazing guy, but i never felt the same about us, i’m sorry to say you that..”
Me – “It’s okay, i already knew i had no chances, but i wanted this to end, it was pressuring me too hard for too long..”
Her – “Don’t ever ever change, you are amazing how you are, i hope you will find a girlfriend as good as you are, you deserve it, to be honest i have some feelings for other persons, but i’m not building anything on anyone because i don’t even know where i will be in one year, i have projects and studies, and i don’t want to be falling apart because of that. Thank you for telling me the truth, it’s good that you told me now, it would have been really cringe if you told me on a regular day like that..”
Me – “Thanks for being honest with me, you are the best roommate i have ever had, I’m not gonna forget this conversation, but don’t worry, now i gonna move on, and we still gonna be roommates and (friends ?)”
Her – “Sure ! Don’t worry, it’s completely fine !”
And i come back to the living room, my friends watch me, ask me about what happened and all…
The day has passed, and the mood is still good, we didn’t talked about this at all for day, idk if it’s a good thing or not, and i don’t know if she remembered, but now i’m asking several things : What should have done better ? What do i do now ? Should i move on and think about something else ?
Anyways thanks for reading me, i hope i didn’t bored you with my story and that you could help me saying what i’m gonna have to do now.
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