I spend a lot of time trying to figure out my headspace due to anxiety and depression. I spend so much time doing it; however, that as soon as I get comfortable with a girl, it becomes all I can talk about, and I’m simply lucky that it doesn’t ruin my relationship with my good friends. Not only that, I spend so much time doing it that I lose time and motivation for the things that excite me. The most recent girl who I lost due to this issue described it as “emotional labor”, and that’s exactly right – I’m dumping my load of problems on the people I care about constantly. I believe in communication and being open, but I’m tired of losing worthwhile relationships because I lose the ability to have fun and be present due to my obsession with my own problems.
Tl;dr, I lose out on interested women because I dump all my problems on them and I want them to solve my loneliness. I just want to be a fun and enjoyable person who can actually foster a relationship where someone feels as though they want to know what’s going on in my head rather than me dumping it on them. Need help and direction.
To preface, I’m a college student and I usually meet chicks at a party on the weekend (I’m busy pretty much the rest of the week). They seem really interested when I’m talking to them but then it’s just keeping that amount of interest til the next time I see them which I struggle with. I’ll usually try and meet them for coffee or something between classes but that will be several days later and I hate having conversations over snap between then.
So I guess my question is, how do I keep them interested in meeting up later in the week? Should I just wait and invite them to the next party the next weekend? Should I start talking to them over snap?
Many people only use texting to get girls to meet and to fuck. However what if it’s long distance and you want to keep that girl stimulated if you go back to her city.
Or just being able to have good game that triggers the right signals getting them ready for sex.
What do you guys do for text game any references or people offering good advice on this topic?
A few days ago I was complaining to one of my friends about not having any luck with girls. He called bullshit on that because I always tell him about all the girls I’ve been to talking to and he made me check my instagram dms. I had 8 girls that iniated conversatiob with me and one of them even threw herself at me. I know I am no Brad Pitt but that made me realize that maybe I am just not trying enough to get girls. I have a really hard time liking a girl enough to try and get with her and when I do she is either way out of my league or I fuck it up. What should I do?
I’m 21, I’ve been single my whole life, and university isn’t going to last forever. I’m afraid of wasting the best chance I’ll ever get to meet girls and I don’t know what to do.
I’ve tried the libraries and cafes on campus, but I don’t think going to cafes and libraries with the sole intent of meeting girls is the best plan. It just isn’t something I can do for very long before having to go somewhere else. There has to be a better way/place I haven’t figured out yet. It’s hard to maintain a lasting conversation with a girl in a coffee shop while waiting in line to place an order. Sometimes I’m lucky enough to say something witty, they’ll laugh and they’ll walk away after getting their order.
It’s rare that I spot a cute girl next to an empty spot at the library and even when I do, I have only have a small window of time to talk to them because they’re usually focused on doing their work. Only a couple of times was I able to really talk to these girls and I go to the library pretty often. Being the idiot that I am, I couldn’t bring myself to ask for their numbers. That’s something I’ll do next time, but I’ll never know when next time is.
I’ve tried in class, but it’s hard to get a conversation out of anyone in just the couple of minutes you get before and/or after class. I’ve gotten a few numbers by just asking without really getting to talk first, but they clearly weren’t interested in me since they all declined to hangout or ignored me. No problem with that, rejection is normal, but my classes are pretty small so the opportunities are limited. It’s a similar situation to coffee shops and libraries.
I don’t have any friends who are girls. If I did, that would probably be helpful, but it’s hard to make friends with girls without coming across like you’re trying to date them anyway. I’m not seriously involved in any clubs (I’ve been trying to though) and the ones I sometimes go rarely have any girls. I feel like I don’t have many opportunities to talk to girls in my daily life, but maybe they’re there and I just need someone to point out these opportunities for me.