[20M] Bored with casual, what advice do you have to look for something deeper with girls?

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**TL;DR – Questions:**

* **What would your advice be to start dating more seriously to a person who never went besides casual FWB at most?**
* **Similar to how we develop certain traits to become better, are there traits specific to longer/more serious things?**
* **In general what do you recommend to start connecting more?**
* If you have any other feedback given the somewhat small description I gave, go ahead, I appreciate it

**A little backstory:**

I’m 20M and this last year I realized I’m actually good looking (I lived in the warped reality where I saw myself as my childhood version.. took a friend of mine to slap me to reality). I spent my high-school as many of us did, being a kid unable to talk to girls, or at least try anything, writing poems and fantasizing. Then spring break happened and I slowly began to get on with girls.

**Current situation:**

I don’t get a new girl every week, but when my body raised up enough need to shut off my fears I eventually got an ONS. This is not a flex, I see it as a negative. Since I’m good looking and love to workout, my body ends up doing most of my game, I think I’m somewhat interesting (in my ambitions and my college/extracurricular life) and that sometimes comes up, but if I’m being honest, it’s mostly looks I feel. **There’s times I actually feel like being a toy.** While I’m more confident and stuff, I didn’t really go through that “approach therapy” and stuff like that.

This has been happening for close to 3 years and I’m a bit bored and starting to notice a feel cracks on my social life:

* **Sex starts to be boring:** While sex is good and all.. right now it starts to get boring, I do it mostly to make the girl have fun tbh.
* **I’m doing it for validation:** I feel that much of my motivation is to prove myself, “hey look at me I can get girls”. I have a lot of Tinder matches, but most of the satisfaction is accumulating matches I barely even talk to them
* **I’m afraid of trying something more real:** I’ve noticed I feel something more sincere for a few of my friends but my mind hates that because first: they don’t look like the dolls I usually try to get (stupid shit I know) and, more relevant, I feel like I’m going to hurt them, afraid this is just my mind creating a fantasy and I will just be bored.
* **Can’t stand getting on dates with most people:** I find girls that look right to the fantasy I created of “a girl I’d date” and then go out twice and just feel like I need to run away.. I just find it super hard to connect. But then, once in a blue moon, I go on a blind date just because I’m bored and 30min extend to 6 hours of random talking and just having tons of fun (and then their family moves to another country 2 weeks after.. that was the universe trolling me for sure ahaha)
* **Getting girls made me lose focus on finding great people:** I had a weird childhood being far away from people, both friends and girls. In highschool I shifted from timid to social, but I got a lot of acquaintances and focused my improvement on getting girls.. I still find it hard to get actual friends (which is a problem that seems parallel to the lack of meaningful connection).

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How do I condition girls to be friends with benefits?

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Hi guys, I’m on mobile so forgive any mistakes (also have no idea on how to view a sidebar on my cell).

So recently I’ve been pulling a ton of women and have no problem escalating kino, keeping the conversation fun and flirty and even getting to a sexual level but almost every girl wants to date me and doesn’t want anything casual (even after we’ve had casual sex already).

I’m always upfront about what I’m looking for from the beginning as I don’t want to lead anyone in or hurt anybody but I feel like I’m running into this wall over and over again.

Any advice on how I condition the girls to keeping things casual or any videos I can check out?

Thanks for the help, love you guys, let’s do this!

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Miss My Special Phone Friend (wla)

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We shared special male bonding over the phone. Although we never met, we enjoyed sharing aspirations on occasion. Hoping we can reconnect or that a kindred soul might be interested.

Check more…
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How to Start Loving Small Talk: The Campfire Metaphor

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How to Start Loving Small Talk: The Campfire Metaphor

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How To Form Your Own Social Circle

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Hopefully this will help a lot of people, what are your thoughts guys?

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Video: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLGz2FlF2ts](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLGz2FlF2ts)

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Good luck!

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