**TL;DR – Questions:**
* **What would your advice be to start dating more seriously to a person who never went besides casual FWB at most?**
* **Similar to how we develop certain traits to become better, are there traits specific to longer/more serious things?**
* **In general what do you recommend to start connecting more?**
* If you have any other feedback given the somewhat small description I gave, go ahead, I appreciate it
**A little backstory:**
I’m 20M and this last year I realized I’m actually good looking (I lived in the warped reality where I saw myself as my childhood version.. took a friend of mine to slap me to reality). I spent my high-school as many of us did, being a kid unable to talk to girls, or at least try anything, writing poems and fantasizing. Then spring break happened and I slowly began to get on with girls.
I don’t get a new girl every week, but when my body raised up enough need to shut off my fears I eventually got an ONS. This is not a flex, I see it as a negative. Since I’m good looking and love to workout, my body ends up doing most of my game, I think I’m somewhat interesting (in my ambitions and my college/extracurricular life) and that sometimes comes up, but if I’m being honest, it’s mostly looks I feel. **There’s times I actually feel like being a toy.** While I’m more confident and stuff, I didn’t really go through that “approach therapy” and stuff like that.
This has been happening for close to 3 years and I’m a bit bored and starting to notice a feel cracks on my social life:
* **Sex starts to be boring:** While sex is good and all.. right now it starts to get boring, I do it mostly to make the girl have fun tbh.
* **I’m doing it for validation:** I feel that much of my motivation is to prove myself, “hey look at me I can get girls”. I have a lot of Tinder matches, but most of the satisfaction is accumulating matches I barely even talk to them
* **I’m afraid of trying something more real:** I’ve noticed I feel something more sincere for a few of my friends but my mind hates that because first: they don’t look like the dolls I usually try to get (stupid shit I know) and, more relevant, I feel like I’m going to hurt them, afraid this is just my mind creating a fantasy and I will just be bored.
* **Can’t stand getting on dates with most people:** I find girls that look right to the fantasy I created of “a girl I’d date” and then go out twice and just feel like I need to run away.. I just find it super hard to connect. But then, once in a blue moon, I go on a blind date just because I’m bored and 30min extend to 6 hours of random talking and just having tons of fun (and then their family moves to another country 2 weeks after.. that was the universe trolling me for sure ahaha)
* **Getting girls made me lose focus on finding great people:** I had a weird childhood being far away from people, both friends and girls. In highschool I shifted from timid to social, but I got a lot of acquaintances and focused my improvement on getting girls.. I still find it hard to get actual friends (which is a problem that seems parallel to the lack of meaningful connection).