I’ve been thinking a lot for a couple of days about the dynamics of *interesting* and unconventional conversation topics and this sub seems to be a treasure chest full of it.
In addition to this, I’m also looking for a style of conversation that appears to be random and fictional – something that just keeps giving. I was talking to a gent in a previous thread where he mentioned he used to come up with fictional tales of how he was in the Bolivian Intelligence Agency and detailed his adventures in a way to both have something to talk about and make the girl laugh.
I’d also like to know an unconventional method to open a with a girl without starting with her name. I came up with up a ‘look at that couple there, how long do you think till she slaps him” and something on those lines.
1. How do you approach a potential girl when they’re in groups?
2. When there’s a lull in the convo, I simply stare at her with a half smile. This generally goads her to come up with something. I’d like to have a proper backup- what’s yours?
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A few weeks ago, I matched with a girl on Bumble who goes to the university about 45 minutes away from where I live. She is 21 and I am 30. When we first matched, she was super flirty and we had good banter going. I gave her my number and she texted me almost immediately. We traded messages a few more times then I suggested we meet up for drinks the next time I’m in her town (I go there a few times a month for work). She agreed.
A few days later she said we should talk on the phone. I told her I’m not really into using my phone unless I have a reason but since we haven’t met, I told her I would if it would make her feel more at ease. I tried calling her that night. No answer.
A few more days pass and she texts me again saying she fell asleep and she’s been studying hard lately… blah blah blah. So I say that’s fine let’s just meet up on the weekend. She agreed. I text her again that Thursday to set something up. No response. I figure okay, she’s ghosting and move on.
Then, a few weeks later she texts me saying she’s sorry and that she almost failed her class so she had to focus on school, leaving her no time for dating but now she wants to talk again. I say basically no thanks but if you want to meet up let me know and left it at that.
Another couple weeks go by and she texts me again out of the blue saying she wants to talk on the phone again. I text her back saying I’ll be in her town for the weekend, we can talk then. No response until today (Sunday after the weekend I said I’d be in town). Again, telling me I should call her tonight.
Every instinct in me is saying just ignore her and cut ties. She’s just doing this for the attention even though I’m not giving her much at all anymore. I’m wondering though if there is any way to win this situation? Do I give in and call her? It almost feels like she’s catfishing me at this point. From her maturity level and status she’s not really someone I’d care to have a relationship with but she is smokin’ hot so if we had something casual it would be great.
I know I should just move on but before I do, I have to know if there is any way this can work in my favor.
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it all happened so fast. i was out with friends when i noticed the lady looking at me and smiling. this happened two times, so i approached her. she was sitting. so i gave her a hand to stand up and dance with me. we danced really close for a half of a minute or something like that. strong eye contact.
THEN one fellow came she already knew i guess. “pulled” her away. they sat again and talked. at that point i hadn’t the intention to fight with him for her. so i just let it happened but still looked here and there in her direction. in moments when he looked away she looked at me and smiled. they didn’t had body contact or something. i guess it was some kind of date.
they started to leave. but they didn’t leave together. he brought her out of the bar/club and came back in.
i didn’t see any situation where i could interact with her again.
is there a way to handle this like a gentleman and not lose your frame?
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How to Start Loving Small Talk: The Campfire Metaphor
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