Getting out of friendzone

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Know this girl for 2.5 years. Had a crush on her all along, but we were both in relationships so nothing happened. We talked casually sometimes. In October we started hanging out a lot in different groups, we connect amazingly well. We can follow up each other’s jokes and go on for hours.

In December we were drinking at a friend’s house and started talking about relationships. Our friend told her heartbreak story, I told how I broke up with my gf and she confessed she and her bf haven’t been talking for half a year. That night before she got into an uber – I hugged her and said “If you decide your situation with your bf is hopeless – I ask you out on a date, you’re awesome.”.

A week later we were in the same situation (getting an uber in the night). I asked her when the date’s happening. She cringed, looked at me and said:

“I really love you, but not like that. I haven’t thought about you that way”

I replied:

“I haven’t thought of you that way either since I had a gf, but times change”

“I just don’t want to ruin your life.”

“Are you gonna cheat with some dude and then lie to me?”

“What? No!”

“Then you’re gonna have a hard time trying to ruin it”

Lots of jokes later I kissed her on the cheek and waved her goodbye.

Next day I asked the question again and she said plain “No”. Smiled, hugged her and left for work.

Maybe she doesn’t like me physically, maybe she’s coping with post-break up pain and isn’t ready, can’t tell. She’s been telling everyone she has a bf while in fact she doesn’t.

Since then we’ve been chatting, joking, hanging out and stuff a few times a month. Next week we’re going to another city for a metal show. We’ll be going home during the night, so plenty of romantic one-on-one moments ahead.

I love being around her and I’m fine with her being a friend. I don’t have oneitis, just want to get the most out of this opportunity. What’s the best strategy?

1) Just behave like a friend so she sees I’ve moved on? (sounds the most reasonable for me)

2) Go a step further and try to bring another girl with us?

3) Try to escalate in some other way?

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How to proceed

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I’m 25 years old male without much success with girls or society. I’m socially awkward and troubled. I’m taking anti-depressants and am regularly seeing a therapist. I feel desperate and worthless at social aspect of life. I’m desperate to get validation. At least I have a decent job and progressive determination to improve myself.

At pastime my only amusement is going out solo. Actually it’s distressing and desperate, but I view it as training. I go out to approach girls, even thought the idea makes my stomach crawl. Sometimes it’s easier and sometimes it’s harder. Sometimes I even turn back home at bars door. Sometimes I just feel lost in the club. But I try to forget all my distorted beliefs and build temporal confidence and positive aura.

Once I have psyched myself up, I try to approach a lot and not give a fuck about rejection. I get rejected a lot and just move on. I make bold moves like flattery and psychical contact to get girls attention. I approach all chicks from mediocre to hot. Ugly or fat girls I don’t approach. Most of the time some girl turns out to be responsive and open for further interaction, even hotties. Few times girls have approached me, even thought I’m low testo guy. Once I have girls attention, I tell her flatteries and try to make observations and questions about her. I try to scout for common interests. I also smile with teeth and try to stay cool (even thought I feel strong psychical urge to run away).

After training approaching for about dozens of times, I feel less anxious about it. The problem is, I couldn’t keep the girl interested and I start to panic. It gets awkward and either of us comes up with excuse to leave. I don’t know how to make girl laugh and comfortable. I have been stuck here for long without any progress. I’m not sure what mental barriers I should break to further progress at my ambition to become a player.

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View Reddit by nan0m0usyView Source

How I stopped being a pussy

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These are the 3 big things I’ve picked up on recently. I went through a shit break-up last year and it took a lot of time to get my game back. This subreddit helped me get through tough times so I am paying it forward.

1) Cocky comedy will take you far. Being playfully cocky will instantly separate you from 90% of social interactions she has with other males. Cocky comedy comes from the perspective that **she is the one who is after you.** When meeting a new woman, challenge her from the very beginning. Instead of pursuing her, put it in your head that she is the one pursuing you. Don’t be afraid to bust her balls, but make sure it’s in a teasing flirtatious way. One way I like to use cocky comedy is by using a made up “strike system”. I’ll say something like this: “Oh, you don’t like pineapple on pizza? That’s gonna be a strike. This isn’t going to work out.” I take something small and blow it out of proportion as if it was a relationship deal breaker. The secret is a sly delivery, as you don’t want to come off as arrogant or try to hurt her feelings. Cocky comedy is a way to show that you’re not intimidated by her and that you like to have a good time. It’s also a good shit test to play on women.

2) Stop relying on logical characteristics to get women. This one took me a long time to figure out. I used to think “I’m an above average looking guy, I wear nice clothes, I’m not a fuck-up, so why aren’t women throwing themselves at me?” The thing is, having “logical” qualities is great to possess, and you should absolutely work on becoming the best person you can be. **But the reality is that logic ain’t gonna get you laid.** In order to attract women you must do so on an emotional level. Attraction is fueled by humor, charm, smart-ass comments, unpredictability, wit, i.e. the intangible characteristics. You MUST make a woman feel a special way if you want to attract her. The extra stuff (nice job and car) is just icing on the cake once you’ve already attracted her.

3) Understand what confidence looks like. You always hear people say “just be confident around women,” but what the fuck does confidence even LOOK like? I figured out that **confidence is just a sense of security in future events.** When talking to women, speak with certainty in the future. Replace your “if’s” with “when’s”, and stop staying “I think” and “I guess.” Communicate as though you already know you **will** go on a date with her, and that you **will** end up kissing her. You’ll start to notice how this change in mentality will subsequently change the way you carry yourself. If deep down you’re still insecure (which is okay) then fake it till you make it.

EDIT: Glad to see the reception this got! I’m going to make a post in a few days outlining some cocky comedy techniques. Be on the lookout for it.

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View Reddit by irishdude92View Source

So tired of these cunts. What do?

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After almost two weeks of messaging a lot of women on Badoo I only have two that I’m chatting to regularly. But I’m so fucking tired of how they treat me like shit. They take forever to reply but go online on Badoo talking to other men. It’s always I that initiate contact. They send a message, then log out and go to bed without bothering to check for a reply. They send at most 2 or 3 messages a day on average. I feel like sending them messages telling them they are whores and they can go to hell. What do?

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View Reddit by HgfytsddetrView Source

A third world country! Now what!

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This is one of the worst nightmares in my life! It’s been about three years since I graduated from high school moved out of a free country back to my home country “a third world country”, and I still can’t attend college because of my financial issues, so smh, mixing is almost forbidden in our country, but one of the only places in it that people mix a lot at, is the college, what should I do about it “the mixing thingy between men and women”? And is it gonna be a good head start since I’m gonna be one of the older people in the class?

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