Know this girl for 2.5 years. Had a crush on her all along, but we were both in relationships so nothing happened. We talked casually sometimes. In October we started hanging out a lot in different groups, we connect amazingly well. We can follow up each other’s jokes and go on for hours.
In December we were drinking at a friend’s house and started talking about relationships. Our friend told her heartbreak story, I told how I broke up with my gf and she confessed she and her bf haven’t been talking for half a year. That night before she got into an uber – I hugged her and said “If you decide your situation with your bf is hopeless – I ask you out on a date, you’re awesome.”.
A week later we were in the same situation (getting an uber in the night). I asked her when the date’s happening. She cringed, looked at me and said:
“I really love you, but not like that. I haven’t thought about you that way”
“I haven’t thought of you that way either since I had a gf, but times change”
“I just don’t want to ruin your life.”
“Are you gonna cheat with some dude and then lie to me?”
“Then you’re gonna have a hard time trying to ruin it”
Lots of jokes later I kissed her on the cheek and waved her goodbye.
Next day I asked the question again and she said plain “No”. Smiled, hugged her and left for work.
Maybe she doesn’t like me physically, maybe she’s coping with post-break up pain and isn’t ready, can’t tell. She’s been telling everyone she has a bf while in fact she doesn’t.
Since then we’ve been chatting, joking, hanging out and stuff a few times a month. Next week we’re going to another city for a metal show. We’ll be going home during the night, so plenty of romantic one-on-one moments ahead.
I love being around her and I’m fine with her being a friend. I don’t have oneitis, just want to get the most out of this opportunity. What’s the best strategy?
1) Just behave like a friend so she sees I’ve moved on? (sounds the most reasonable for me)
2) Go a step further and try to bring another girl with us?
3) Try to escalate in some other way?