I’ve beaten Approach Anxiety. What’s Next?

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Hi guys. I’m hoping this post helps both me and any of you in the same situation. That’s why I’ve decided to add all these details.

I must have cold approached at least 1000 girls by this point. I’ve gotten into several relationships (shorter- and longer-term) and lots of lays (about 120) in the past with cold approaches, but I suspect much of it was attributed to my decent looks and youthful energy/charm. As I’ve reached 32 years old, however, I find things aren’t as consistent as they used to be, despite me being the most driven I’ve ever been, in the best shape of my life, and the most interesting, confident and best overall person I’ve ever been.

Some advice I got from the Good Looking Loser (website) a long time ago was:
Step 1. Look as good as you can
Step 2. Talk to girls
That’s basically what I’ve been doing my entire life and it really helped me simplify my approach to game. It kind of permitted me to NOT game, if that makes sense. I just talked like a normal person. It worked really well, till now. I’ve always been much more inclined to do “direct/normal/natural game” rather than “game game” (you know what I mean?). Example of a typical approach: “Hi. I saw you from across the room/street/venue and you look nice. I’m Max. Are you single?” I’ve done this so many times that even hard rejections are as emotionally tough to deal with as doing dishes. Fear of rejection = practically zero. In fact, I’m at the point now that some rejections are positively relieving, because at least then I won’t be walking around the rest of the day wondering if that girl was my soulmate or whatever.

About a month ago, after I realized how poorly I’ve been doing the past half year, I decided to make a tally of girls I’ve asked out. After every approach, I write down if the result was “no/not single” or “yes/gave number”. Then I have to wait for a few days or a week to see if the “yes” girls followed through with a date. The current tally so far is 40 girls asked out: 30 “no” and 10 “yes” but only 4 of the “yes” girls went on a date with me. This made me realize that my text game must be abysmal, and/or the initial interaction was off on my end. Maybe not enough rapport in the initial convo, I don’t know, I’ve always been bad with external game (or as most people call it, “game”).

I must mention that I’m aware 40 approaches in 1 month might be very low if you’re going with the “approach every girl you see” method, but I only approach girls I’m genuinely very attracted to and I’m pretty much done with approach anxiety, so I don’t need the practice anymore.

I must stress that in most of the interactions with girls who initially said yes to number/date, then later flaked/ghosted on me, they were VERY enthusiastic and attracted in person. I’m certain of this because of my experience and their obvious interest and flirting. No doubt about it whatsoever. Some of these girls were practically jumping with joy (it was mutual). Then something happens between that brief interaction and the text conversation that I can’t pinpoint. And here I am on reddit because I don’t want to repeat the exact same action/process over and over again my whole life expecting different results. I have to adapt and improve.

There’s a reason I wrote my notch number. 120 is a pretty big number to most guys, yes, I’m aware of that. But I’m starting to realize that I relied on my decent looks and optimistic/youthful energy my whole life without working on actual inner game or outer game as much. I’ve especially neglected outer game because most outer game seemed too robotic and inorganic but I’m finally open to begin practicing actual game so long as it doesn’t involve deceit or manipulation or any of that weird “look at my hand, now imagine it’s a cube, now imagine a horse OK NOW LOOK I HAVE A DICK!” kind of thing.

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My basic question is this. If overcoming approach anxiety is the first major step to achieve in seduction, then when one has overcome approach anxiety, what is the next direct step after that? Step TWO (of the never-ending learning process)? I want to view this as a linear path or progression, if you will.

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TL;DR: Used to be a motherfuckin pimp lol not really but my notch number is higher than the average guy despite not having much actual game skills or social aptitude (extremely clumsy and often lucky game).

I feel as though I’ve finally and completely overcome approach anxiety.

I’m having trouble closing dates from cold approaches lately despite being the best person I’ve ever been and getting very good initial attraction and phone text message engagement.

Regretting not practicing actual (outer) game many years ago.

Wondering what the next direct step is in this journey after overcoming approach anxiety.

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View Reddit by shithawk23View Source

Forced myself to go out last night and had a great time!

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So last night I was feeling really down about this girl. My one chick friend texted me, asking if I want to meet her and her friends up at a club. I wasn’t feeling it at all, but I took some kratom and thought fuck it! Let’s fucken go, tonight might be my night.

I haven’t hungout with this girl in years, so I was a bit apprehensive but she seen me, gave me a big hug and introduced me to her *hot friends* I was like fuckkkk! I’m glad I came out! One of her friends, a Spanish girl..was really into me, my chick friend kept telling her girl how cool I am. So I was with her the entire night..I made sure I wasn’t too eager but at the same time I did alot of kino and teased the shit out of her, she thought I was hilarious. I kept making sexual jokes towards her and she was blushing and laughing. Her friend had this long black stick thing that looked like a whip, so I made a move to grab it and told her to turn around so I can spank her, but the fuxken stick broke lol. It felt so good though, to act out in confidence like that. I was doing everything I felt would amuse me in the moment, I wasn’t really trying to make her laugh. I think that is key on a night out, live for yourself, don’t worry about impressing a chick.

Everytime I distanced myself from her in the club, she came and grabbed my hand and took me with her..we held hands the entire night. I could have made a move, but I talked myself out of it! Fuck. She was mentioning how she wants to hang more with me and gave me her number without me even asking for it. BUT before she gave me her number, she told me she had a boyfriend and that he’s rich and spent 1k on her and her friends before, that I should meet him..wtf lmao. She wasn’t acting like she had a dude, so it left me confused. I’m thinking she isn’t that commited? Girls are so confusing dudes. Should I wait for her to text me or what? I need advice.

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View Reddit by beastboi27View Source

My First Ever Day Game

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Hi fellas!

I have been doing the bar/club game for a few months, and had a small amount of success with it. This week, I decided, I would try out day game as well just to gauge the level of approach anxiety I have.

Incident: So I went out with my friends to a nearby mall and approached one of the girls working with TH. Initial responses from here were receptive(maybe because she wanted to do her sales), afterwards when I asked her out, she didn’t respond positively and then I bid her bye and rejoined my friends.

Lessons: I do have the approach anxiety, which has reduced by quite some amount though. I feel day game is more challenging that bar/club game. I also felt that it is a bit difficult to convey your thoughts to the girl during daygame.

To all the fellas out there: Guys, whats your opinion on daygame and best places to meet women during the day on weekends and what was your first daygame experience and how did you manage to reduce the anxiety during the day?

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View Reddit by canonicalFrowardView Source

Seduction techniques… from the 1950s

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Seduction techniques… from the 1950s

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View Reddit by muff_marauderView Source