I’ve been developing myself for along time. I have improved my appearance (dress, fitness), am well read and have studied game for a while. I can talk well and do not lack in confidence. And yet girls I know in real life, consistently choose other guys over me. I don’t know why – but I do know that the only common factor between all these different girls is myself.
Recent example, I moved to a new city, new school with entirely new people. I liked this one girl in my class (she is thiccc) and asked her out for drinks, but she wasn’t much interested at the time. I have made some moves, but she wasn’t particularly enthusiastic. Instead, she replied to my friends story on insta (no girls ever reply to mine 😭) saying its rude that she didn’t receive an invite to the dinner in a joking way (she’s away to another city right now). He was asking me for advice on what to respond. Of course he’s my friend and I will help him (although I like the girl too – its not his fault she chose him over me, I wouldn’t jeopardize a male friendship over a girl) but it just makes me sad deep inside that girls never do this to me.
This same friend also has another girl interested in him from our class (she was messaging him or hugging him tightly in the club when we went as a class), but he isn’t taller or more stronger than me or more well read. He is richer though and has the newest ipad, maybe that’s why? Again, I would never jeopardize a friendship with a male over a girl, but I want to understand what he does.
I post stories frequently and see that many girls see them (some haven’t missed a single story of mine) but none of them ever reply. I’ve posted stories of me travelling the world, in the gym, exploring different places, etc – and have never had any engagement from females – only my guy friends will write to me.
Maybe I am coming off the wrong way? I have no idea.
All I know, is that I want to have girls messaging me and choosing me!
PS. Never had a girlfriend (I’m 26) and never hooked up with a girl that was not from the internet (dating apps). Closest I got to a girlfriend was when I was on a trip to South America, travelled around with a girl I met there for a bit and she showed me affection – but we didn’t even speak the same language and I left back home soon.
I don’t know what’s wrong with me and its killing my confidence (I actively work to resist this but still sometimes one feels discouraged when everything he tries is a fail).
PPS. I have considered asking people I know irl about my vibe, but have been afraid to do it – a man admitting he has problems with girls would make other men think worse of me. I have asked some people that know me personally, they said everything is fine or that ‘I am who I am and to own it’. But that is an unsatisfying answer. Someone else said that I sometimes sexualize too much or take jokes too far or that I am blunt.
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