Have any of you ever hit the night clubs by yourselves? Is it good or bad not to have a wing man and what were your results?
Hey guys I need any kind of advice on how not to lose this girl. I went on a date with her the other night and she seemed like she was kinda into me. We were meant to only go to a movie but after the movie we sat in my car and talked for another 2 hours. I asked if she wanted to do it again and she said yes, but now when she texts me she seems more distant than before. She still texts back and everything but I really like her and I want to make sure I don’t fuck it up like I have so many times before. Any advice is appreciated
Having been very self-conscious about being super unattractive when I was younger (brown kid in super white english town, super skinny, hit puberty super late), I’ve paid close attention to what makes people more attractive and put effort into becoming more attractive, and recently I feel like it’s worked.
Here’s a run down of practical advice (some of which I’ve followed myself) that I think can make you seem more attractive. I’m not advocating that you change your personality to suit what society sees as more attractive or anything, or that the only reason you should be kind is to get girls – it’s just that I’ve noticed these things are perceived as attractive. And I’m not saying being attractive and being in a relationship will make you happy. If you’re happy to change yourself a little to be more attractive, then I think you should follow the advice. It’s all about how much you’d rather stay true to who think you are. For me, I didn’t change anything that I valued about myself.
General Tip : Charisma on Command have amazing YouTube videos on applied psychology.
I think the main aspects of being attractive are being funny, confident and positive (more than looks).
**Number one tip : smile more.**
**How can you actually get funnier?**
– **Watch comedies** (recommended – B99, Parks and Rec, etc.) You’ll start to pick up the humour.
– **Follow popular meme pages**. You’ll start to pick up the humour.
– Pay attention to what people around you laugh at. Try and apply that kind of humour.
– If you have to, look up jokes online so that you can tell them randomly or if an appropriate situation arises.
– Experiment. If you’re not a funny person, you’re going to inevitably create some awkward silences, but it’s probably worth it. Eventually you’ll start making people laugh, which will make you feel great and also more attractive.
In general try to avoid dark humour, overtly sexual humour or self-depricating humour, because the first two can make you seem creepy and the third can make you seem less confident.
**How can you actually seem more confident?**
– **POSTURE**. Look up AthleanX’s YouTube videos on posture.
– Body Language. Open body language makes you more approachable. Charisma on Command on Youtube is great for this.
– Try and walk with confidence. If you want to, you can literally look up YouTube videos on walking in a cooler way.
– Actually being more confident. Stop telling yourself you’re not good enough. Tell yourself that you’re the shit (but also equal to everyone else don’t start being a dick). Try and face your fears in social situations. Speak to strangers. Stop procrastinating. Improve yourself generally. Work hard at things. Exercise. Be kinder.
Also I read somewhere that kindness and generosity is seen as more attractive. Obviously you should be those things anyway, but if you’re trying to be a dick alpha male to be attractive, I really don’t think that’s gonna work. [https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/kindness-attractive_n_6063074?ec_carp=2773262034116512143&guccounter=1](https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/kindness-attractive_n_6063074?ec_carp=2773262034116512143&guccounter=1)
In my opinion there are hobbies that make you more attractive.
– Learn to sing well or try to improve your singing. YouTube is great for this.
– Learn to play an instrument, I think an acoustic guitar is the most attractive
– Some kind of martial art / self defence
– Write poetry or prose or something. [https://www.wattpad.com/](https://www.wattpad.com/)
– Follow male models / actors on social media to get an idea of what is generally considered attractive
– Exercise (going to the gym will make you look more muscular so is probably your best option in terms of exercise). I recommend AthleanX on YouTube.
– Take care of your skin, benzoyl peroxide is great, use a moisturiser
– If you’re not sure about whether you like your hairstyle, I recommend copying a famous person’s hairstyle
– You can watch videos about getting and maintaining different hairstyles on YouTube
– Short back and sides generally looks better than leaving everything even length
– If you’re not sure what to ask for at the barbers, show them a picture (of a celeb or of you when your hair looked good)
– Google what fades and tapers and numbers etc mean if you don’t understand them so you can communicate better with your barber
– Leaving your hair a bit longer is usually safer than getting it cut a bit shorter
– Make a Google doc of what exactly you want to ask your barber for in the future if you don’t want to use a picture
– Consider getting your eyebrows threaded/trimmed/shaped or tweezering between your eyebrows
– Shower every morning
**-** use enough deodorant that if you sniff your clothes you can smell it, but you can’t smell it otherwise
– roll-on antiperspirants are the most effective. Apply them at night before you go to sleep. I recommend Loreal Men.
**-** I’m brown and I really believe **certain colours suit you better depending on your skin colour** and eye colour (for me – black, white, khaki)
– You can get an idea of what styles look good from IG models and actors, obviously you probably can’t afford their actual clothes but you can get similar cheaper alternatives. @davidjamesseed does affordable fashion on IG. Asos is great for cheap clothes and has a good variety.
– **When you’re out in public, pay attention to men whose outfits you like and try and copy their style.**
– It may be useful to make a decision between buying fewer more expensive clothes or more cheaper clothes depending on your style.
– check out thread.com, you get personalised free style advice
If you want to seem more attractive to a particular person, try to engage with their interests. Follow who they follow, watch what they watch, read what they read, listen to what they listen to, do what they do. (I’m not telling you to stalk them, please don’t stalk them).
Aaand there you go.
She has a huge obsession with Disney. I always thought that Disney was aimed towards younger audiences (ages 3-10). She’s in her early 20’s. She has the annual pass, multiple ‘ears’ and she goes to Disneyland A LOT. Don’t get me wrong. She is hands down the most gorgeous and coolest girl I’ve ever met, practically my dream girl. But this Disney obsession makes me a bit uneasy. On the upside, we both like horror films and rock music, so I guess thats ok. Am I jerk for thinking this way? Should I give her a chance? Or is this Disney obsession a red flag?