How to open in bars

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So I haven’t really bar gamed in a while, but was invited to go with a friend of mine to see some of his fellow musicians perform at a bar in Miami. I’ve done so much direct daygame, but I know doing the, hey I know this is random but, thing won’t really work in a bar?

My plan is just to be super present and have a good time. But if a girl catches my eye, how should I approach? I’m thinking of just looking at her until we lock eyes and just wait for an AI approach invitation, a smile or something, then just go and introduce myself.

Any advice?

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What are some objects/items you have in your bedroom that girls love?

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Something I noticed recently is that your bedroom should always have interesting things in it. This is crucial for two reasons:

1) it gives you something to talk about
2) it can be revealing of who you are and your interests

And a third lesser reason is that it can help set the mood.

Anyways I’m a college student and whenever I go out on the weekends and manage to bring a girl over (or even if I’m in a study-group and I suggest we study at my house) I love showing people my bedroom because I have interesting trinkets that open up so many interesting conversations. For example on my wall I have several paintings as well as several flags for my nationalities as well as my fraternity flag. I also have several plants, artifacts and wine collections. All these items explain my fascination with history, art, and my travel experiences and I looove to talk about them, and being asked questions about them. I feel like, whether it’s a one night stand or more, this helps the girl get to see how interesting I am without me ever having to say it, and as a person who at times runs out of things to talk about, this can be great.

So guys, tell me if you’ve had a similar experience and what are some interesting things you keep in your bedroom.

Also, guys, invest in candles! They are amazing.

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I am suffering from envy

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I am a 22 year old male on a coed college sports team of about 26 people. About half of the team is female. Recently we had a fundraising event whereby we had to volunteer in shifts. I stayed the whole time, as I am a member of the executive committee. Our club president (who I am friends with) befriended a new girl on the team, and it appears as though they are now dating. They made out several times behind the event table, which just made me upset considering I’ve never had the testicular fortitude to even ask a girl out.

Mind you, this guy is in shape at 5’7″ and I’m built like a twig at 5’10” 150 lb. He tries to get me to go to the gym with him, but my schedule is always busy and I don’t have workouts memorized like he does. We’ve also talked about dating before, and he has said in the past that he can’t find what he’s looking for on campus and is single. I have always been single.

That aside, I am asking for help because there are 5-6 new girls on the team, and quite a few are very attractive. I’m trying not to develop oneitis, also, but there are 1-2 girls that I would consider to be my type. There’s competition though and I need to squash it.

But I want to follow in this guy’s footsteps, because I think I’m at a turning point now, a crossroads I haven’t been in since high school. I graduate in May and don’t want to pass up any opportunities, but I don’t want to be friendzoned in the process.

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Couldn’t close the deal

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So yeah… I fucked up.

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This girl I know and I have been flirting a bit lately, nothing over the top but clear IOI from both sides. There was a party this Friday that both of us were going to which was a perfect opportunity to make a move. The moment I arrived she immediately hugged me and teased around. I had to meet some friends so I left her there.

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As the party went on I rarely saw her but one time I had the perfect opportunity to kiss her. I didn’t. I didn’t want to do it literally in front of everyone but I was more afraid to fail than anything else. At least those were my excuses at the time.

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For a moment I also gave up a bit since I thought a common friend told me that she didn’t want anything but I could’ve misheard it for the opposite since the music was loud and he was leaving.

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I got devastated when the next day I got called a pussy by one of her friends. I didn’t ask the reason nor did she explain but I think there is no need for an explanation. I was a pussy.

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So sedditors, how does one just thinks “fuck it” and goes for it. Sometimes I am on that state of mind and get amazing results of of it but it happens less often than I would like. Another thing I notice is that my male friends are often much more comfortable with women than I am (dancing, touching, etc.). I’ve grown better at that but I am still so “closed”…

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Feed me advice!

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Is being a cute guy better than being a hot guy?

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We all know that a cute girl would be more desired than a hot one since the hot one would often be seen as “already having options” and “too high maintenance”. Would there be a similar thing for men in the eyes of women? I’m not talking about personality, just looks alone.

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[FR] From Third Date, how can I escalate it to a relationship / physical / sexual ?

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I’m 24 and met a nice girl on Bumble a few weeks back (That was very much my type), however only got to meet in person about 2 weeks ago.

(2 Weeks ago): First date was meeting in the local bar in town, we just both had one drink then she drank soft drinks and so did I, we chatted in detail getting to know each other, sitting opposite each other. We stayed until the bar shut, then I walked her back to the train station, I went in for a kiss on the lips goodbye however got rejected and she turned her cheek. Whilst with her I scheduled the next date, that was dinner through the week and hopefully some mini-golf after.

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(1.5 Weeks ago, 3 days later from 1st date): 2nd Date, met for dinner at a local Italian restaurant (Which was our favourite cuisine together), again sat opposite each other, and enjoyed the conversation over dinner. Then asked her about Minigolf after dinner, however she said it was a little late and was quite tired, so we just stayed talking the rest of the evening at the restaurant, until it shut. Then walked her to her car, and got her to kiss me on the cheek goodbye. It came up in conversation that she does a local park run every Saturday morning at 9am, with her gym crew friends. I somewhat self invited myself. However the day before I pulled out, as I felt it was a little stalkerish just showing up to her local run, with her friends, plus wouldn’t be with her that long as she was going to the gym (Which I’m not a member of) after, and then had a jam packed weekend.

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My largest observation from the first two dates, was that we could talk endlessly about ourselves, and find common topics of conversation, however I wasn’t sure how to turn conversation into something more.

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Currently I’ve been single for just over 2 years, since an Ex of 2 years in University and have only had two girl friends before, the other one being in the end of high school for just about 2 years. Previously the girlfriend in university happened in one day, where we were living in the same building and I met and then went to her dorm room with a bottle of wine and we watched a rom com, and then escalated it and started making out, which lead to sex on her bed ( I think the wine would have helped back then 😉 ).

However now with this single spell of no sex or girls for 2 years, I find myself out of touch, especially on how to game without alcohol and game on multiple dates to lead up to sex.

So I read quite a few posts on /r/seduction and also read “Double your Dating” by David Deangelo. Previously I had listened to the audio book “The Game” by Neil Strauss, and read half of the “How to Lay Girls Guide” that Style talks about in the beginning of the Game. Also watched quite a few videos on youtube by Style (Neil Strauss).

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Today: 3rd Date, Met for takeaway hot chocolates and went for a walk in the local park by the seafront to watch the sunset. Got some good conversation, holding her hand, and talked about the surroundings trying to make her more present in the moment. Asked her what she’s fascinated about ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5zzL1g9ZI4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5zzL1g9ZI4)), what came out was currently the gym (sporting exercises, i.e. running, gym, hand stands and calisthenics), and crime thriller TV shows. Played Style’s 5 question game ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23Dt1xb9oIw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23Dt1xb9oIw)), on her and that then lead to good Kino with hugging and laughing. [However I was unsure on how to escalate this into a kiss, or something more]. We did sit down and stare somewhat into each others eyes, however just talking still. Ended up continuing to walk in the park and ended up doing some handstands with her. Walked back to a local bistro-pub and got pint of cider, and played some table football for a couple of games then we both ordered burgers and chips. Whilst we were eating, she was telling me about a house party that happened the last weekend and how an old man tried to stroke her back and put his hand on her inner thigh. She did it to me, and I did the same back to her, I felt quite turned on that moment, and we did stare into each others eyes, then laughed it off. She was showing me some photos on her phone of the party, and then I decided to show her some of a fancy restaurant I went to in another city with a mate, however she saw a tinder message notification on my phone, and she seemed somewhat put off by this. (I’m not sure how to bring this up her, I’m hoping that it will be okay, she’s by far the best match I’ve had and liked allot after meeting). She then ended up drinking soft drinks again, and I did the same. We played some more table football for quite a few games and then she said she was tired, so I walked her back to the train station. This time she went in for a kiss goodbye on the lips and then left.

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We talked about I could join her for a run after her work through the week just me and her. We also talked about that she’d like to watch game of thrones some time, however she said she’s put off by dates that have tried to get to “Chill” and watch game of thrones (As she’s told me about a tinder that invited her to his house to make pizza’s and then tried to have sex with her after some TV, however she said she ended up leaving and was put off by it). Talking with her, she’s been out of the dating game for 3 years also, she talks quite quickly and can get flustered quite easily.

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So reddit, any feedback, and on next steps whats the best way to escalate the relationship to something sexual ? As I’ve read I should not be a nice guy, as women want a sexual partner that then gets turned into a long term partner. Any particular date ideas, that we could do ? Also specifically is there any games I could do to get more sexual attraction ? And or get us passionately kissing each other ?

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