I’m really anxious about clubs and nightgame (which I never did of course), so I thought I’d try going out and seeing what happens, to kick myself out of the comfort zone a bit.
**Before going out:**
1. Got into a social mood by speaking with people at work, going to a lunch with a girl I approached earlier (turned out she had a bf though). Went to the gym, chatted with one guy about music, met a buddy from work.
2. Approached one girl. She was resting in between sets.
1. “Hey, sorry to interrupt you. You remind me of my friend, who is really pretty, I wanted to say hi.”
2. “Haha, but seems like I’m not her”
3. “I thought you were for a second. Maybe you have a sister”
4. “No, only a brother”
5. “Maybe you have one, you just don’t know”
6. Off to a discussion about where she’s from, where we study/work etc. She was talkative but didn’t seem willing to exchange contacts when I asked.
3. I randomly complemented another girl in the gym, she was very surprised.
1. Went to a nearby club at around 9:30 PM (it opens at 7) and there were about 7 people, a bartender was giving a talk on how to prepare drinks. Turned out this place is usually empty until 11, so I helped a bit, chatted with the staff, got a free drink. Approached a couple of girls, but they were all working there and didn’t have the time to talk.
2. Left this place to check out a club nearby. Also almost empty, asked the bartender if they have WiFi, he said “no” and stared at me like I’m an idiot. The place is kinda funny and stupid, so I left.
3. Went to check out another club. It was empty. Chatted with a girl from the staff, she said it’s usually empty unless they have an event.
4. Went to other two places, one was closed, another one seemed lame.
5. Came back to the first place, it was still empty (10:30).
6. Went to my favorite bar nearby with craft beer, where I know the staff. Nobody to approach, I just chilled out for half an hour.
7. Checked facebook, turned out there’s a jazz jam session in a club nearby. Went there, the place is small, but there are lots of people, especially girls. The problem is, there’s almost no place to sit down. Chatted with the musicians during the break, but they were busy and didn’t want to talk a lot. During the next break there was a girl near me, she came with friends, but they were away.
1. “Hey! I don’t have my buddies with me tonight, may I join you?”
3. “What’s your name?”
4. “<name>” (she looked insanely surprised, lol)
5. “Was that an unexpected question?”
6. don’t remember the response
7. Chatted a bit about jazz and music schools.
8. The band started playing and another group of girls sat near me. The first one seemed a bit disinterested, so I started talking with this group during the next break:
1. “Hello by the way”
3. Off to a discussion about how we ended up in this place
9. Similarly, another two girls from the same group sat down near me on the other side. Next break:
1. “Hey, you’re also from the music academy?”
2. Girl 1: “Yes! We’re all from the same group”
3. “Cool, I live near the academy, but I don’t study there”
4. Girl 1: “Haha”
5. “Yea, I just sit at home playing guitar near my PC”
6. Girl 1: “Wow, cool”
7. “What are your names?”
8. Girl 1: “<name1>”
9. “Wow, that’s a really strange name! Haven’t heard it before!”
10. Girl 1: “Everyone says that!”
11. Girl 2: “<name2 from the next girl>, is it strange as well?”
12. (while holding her hand) “not sure, I think I might have heard it somewhere. Just so you know, my actual name is a bit different: <my_name>, so you also met a strange person today.”
10. The band starts playing again. Next break, turned to the first girl:
1. “You have really weird pants”
2. “Those aren’t pants”
3. “I’m not that knowledgeable in this field, those look like pants to me”
11. They left to smoke. I was also about to leave the club. Said goodbye to the first girl (the one who was astounded when I asked her name), she was sitting at the bar talking to her friend. When leaving the club, I said goodbye to the smoking girls, they looked at me but didn’t respond.
Overall, it was nice to get a bit out of my comfort zone, but it seems a bit pointless. Regular clubs seem boring to me, I’m not a huge fan of that atmosphere, but maybe I’ll give them another chance when they are not empty. It’s much more fun when there’s an actual event (especially quality live music), but nobody there was interested in me, since everyone came with their friends. No idea how I could escalate those discussions anywhere.
Thoughts and suggestions much appreciated 🙂
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