How can I assist you? I am here to help…..
How can I assist you? I am here to help…..
Tl:DR: Asked a much younger colleague out on a date, but fucked up the ask by not waiting for a response, have I come across as a douche and should I keep waiting for an answer? How do I behave in the interim?
Longtime lurker, could use the advice from some fellow bro’s.
So 5 months ago I started a new job in a restaurant as a waiter whilst I work on my management training for the same place, the owner also runs a bar across the road where the average age of staff is considerably lower (18 – 21, I’m 27 BTW).
Since day 1 I’ve been attracted to one of girls that worked there (she’s 19), but I’ve always believed her to be ‘too young’ for me.
I’m not wholly unattractive (I’ve been hitting the gym for a few years now) but growing up a fat kid means I have 0 self confidence when talking to women I find attractive, I’ve been in relationships in the past but I’ve never actually had to make a move since we were always friends first, so up until this point in my life I’ve never had to make an approach.
I used to be pretty bad with IOI but I think I read these pretty well:
1. In the first few weeks she found out through mutual friends that I’d mentioned I think she’s attractive, she brought this up to me when we bumped into each other on a night out but being pretty drunk I disregarded it.
2. Of all of the staff there she makes the most effort to engage and maintain in positive conversation regularly and never responded poorly to flirting (though not overly positively either :/)
Having been single for a while, more recently I’ve been of the ‘fuck it, don’t ask don’t get’ mentality, so Saturday night whilst in the bar after work, I had a few drinks, before I was set to leave a friend/colleague of hers mentioned she was running the bar for an event downstairs on her own, phrased like teasing but a good sign it was mentioned nonetheless, given that this is the first chance in 5 months that I’d ever seen her away from everyone else, fuck it, here’s my chance, so I made my way through a private event (I’m technically counted as staff in this place too) to talk to her behind the bar, there’s a bit of a queue so I stand around casually making chit chat, things aren’t going too badly, the queue shows no sign of slowing down so I bide my time until her manager makes a few appearances.
I didn’t want to stick around and get her in trouble (although I didn’t mention that) and I didn’t want to give myself time to bitch out so whilst she was pouring a few pints I went in:
“This queue doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere anytime soon does it?”
“Sure, there’s only 2 people left”
“There was 2 people 10 minutes ago… Listen, do you work many Sunday/Monday’s?” (Days when the restaurant is closed, my guaranteed time off)
“No, not really”
“Okay, here’s my number, next Sunday 17th, if you’re free, text me”
I had written my number down on a piece of paper and just slid it under some of her stuff on the bar behind her.
I fucked it up by not waiting for a response, I just grabbed my shit and walked out, I did glance back whilst leaving and she just looked wholly confused. A mutual friend did mention a couple of days before that she’s not really into guys but has been known to date a few she is attracted to.
This was two days ago… My concern is that given the age gap I may have come across as very arrogant which is not something that plays to my character/personality very well.
My question is that if it was poorly received, is there any way that I can bring it back? My intention is to apologise for being so callous and to reiterate my question but slower, whilst looking her in the eye and then just waiting to hear what she has to say.
I also know it’s going to be the hot office gossip so how do I react to questions from other colleagues? How do I behave with her in the interim?
And given that I’m already so much older, how do I retain the power dynamic, given that its so much easier for young, attractive women to turn down guys, especially much older ones?
So my sister is getting married tomorrow and I want to have some fun. I’m obviously going to be respectful towards her and her special day, but how do I go about picking someone up?
I’m 19 so most here are older. I know it’s possible I just dont have a whole lot of experience.
Any tips would be appreciated. My uncle challenged me to pick up this one chick but I think shes interested in my older brother –a groomsman said he wouldnt try as shes not worth it.
My uncle is throwing a party (they’re Californians and party a lot –were from northern Idaho and arent as wild) tomorrow night so I might have a shot there too.
Thanks in advance.