Experience confessing to a girl from your social circle


I need to gauge if it‘s worth taking the risk. I‘m fucking shit at reading signals but my boys tell me there might be interest on her side (which I assume they tell me because they are my boys).

She send me a text today confirming the gathering of our social circle for tomorrow. Which she could have done in our WhatsApp friend group. Alone on this my best friend told me to just all-in soon.

I‘m pretty into her but I‘m not sure she noticed that, because again, I‘m so shit at reading signals.

We keep in contact over Snapchat and she sends me selfies regularily, which I‘m the only boy in the social circle she sends them to I‘m pretty sure.

So only going by this, would you guys says it‘s worth trying this? I live in Germany and we are in our early twenties.

I need your advice on this topic urgently AND BE BRUTALLY HONEST!


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STOP Chasing girls around like a little puppy


Nothing pisses me off like seeing guys follow girls around like a little puppy.

I probably get triggered so much because I see my “old self” in them.

Here’s my little advice for guys who struggle with this.




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I want to make 2019 the year I changed my life


Hi guys,

Short intro about myself. I’m a 26 average looking guy, who’s very shy and suffers I feel I have mild (I hope it’s mild) social anxiety. I’ve always had problems with girls, but it stems from my problems with being around people in general. I feel I’m too much in my head, always have a filter on and I never say what I truly think. I think this is the reason all my friends said I’m way funnier when I’m drunk. When I drink all the anxiety goes away, I’m confident-ish, and I’m not shy anymore. I’m talking, making jokes and can present myself how I really am and apparently that’s very attractive to people.

When I’m not drunk I’m a mess. For example, when I’m on the subway, if I see an old lady get on the train I want to give her my seat but I freeze because I start getting these thoughts like “all the people in the train will look at me and I probably look weird” or “i’ll probably say something stupid before offering my seat” and stuff like and I just don’t offer the lady the seat anymore. When I go shopping and I don’t find something I’m looking for, instead of asking the shopping clerk for help I prefer to go around the whole store a few more times to find it myself because I’m too anxious to talk to them out of fear of sounding weird, stupid and anything in between. Let’s not talk about parties, I think it’s pretty clear parties are painful for me if I don’t know a handful of people beforehand.

I’ve tried being more open, talking to random people but I couldn’t get passed my anxiety. I hate it that I can be open with people only after a certain time has passed after I’ve become more comfortable, and I want to be comfortable sooner. I don’t really want to start seducing women, what I want is to be able to be more open and present myself as I really am. Most of the girls that I’ve been close to told me that I’m a great guy, funny, smart but I’m too shy. So I want to break that wall of shyness that I’ve erected to show the people I interact with or want to interact with my true personality and develop confidence in myself. I want to go on dates, develop texting skills and proper communication skills.

I want this year to be a bigger part of this community by getting tips on what to do, read what I can do and has worked for others and then come back with a success story. If not this year then hopefully next year, because this might take some time, but I want it to be sooner rather than later because time flies and I feel like life is passing me by.

Thanks in advance guys and I hope you will be part of this journey with me.

P.S. I’ve also posted a similar post on r/socialanxiety because there is a lot of value I can get from there as well.


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[FR] From Third Date, how can I escalate it to a relationship / physical / sexual ?


I’m 24 and met a nice girl on Bumble a few weeks back (That was very much my type), however only got to meet in person about 2 weeks ago.

(2 Weeks ago): First date was meeting in the local bar in town, we just both had one drink then she drank soft drinks and so did I, we chatted in detail getting to know each other, sitting opposite each other. We stayed until the bar shut, then I walked her back to the train station, I went in for a kiss on the lips goodbye however got rejected and she turned her cheek. Whilst with her I scheduled the next date, that was dinner through the week and hopefully some mini-golf after.


(1.5 Weeks ago, 3 days later from 1st date): 2nd Date, met for dinner at a local Italian restaurant (Which was our favourite cuisine together), again sat opposite each other, and enjoyed the conversation over dinner. Then asked her about Minigolf after dinner, however she said it was a little late and was quite tired, so we just stayed talking the rest of the evening at the restaurant, until it shut. Then walked her to her car, and got her to kiss me on the cheek goodbye. It came up in conversation that she does a local park run every Saturday morning at 9am, with her gym crew friends. I somewhat self invited myself. However the day before I pulled out, as I felt it was a little stalkerish just showing up to her local run, with her friends, plus wouldn’t be with her that long as she was going to the gym (Which I’m not a member of) after, and then had a jam packed weekend.


My largest observation from the first two dates, was that we could talk endlessly about ourselves, and find common topics of conversation, however I wasn’t sure how to turn conversation into something more.


Currently I’ve been single for just over 2 years, since an Ex of 2 years in University and have only had two girl friends before, the other one being in the end of high school for just about 2 years. Previously the girlfriend in university happened in one day, where we were living in the same building and I met and then went to her dorm room with a bottle of wine and we watched a rom com, and then escalated it and started making out, which lead to sex on her bed ( I think the wine would have helped back then 😉 ).

However now with this single spell of no sex or girls for 2 years, I find myself out of touch, especially on how to game without alcohol and game on multiple dates to lead up to sex.

So I read quite a few posts on /r/seduction and also read “Double your Dating” by David Deangelo. Previously I had listened to the audio book “The Game” by Neil Strauss, and read half of the “How to Lay Girls Guide” that Style talks about in the beginning of the Game. Also watched quite a few videos on youtube by Style (Neil Strauss).


Today: 3rd Date, Met for takeaway hot chocolates and went for a walk in the local park by the seafront to watch the sunset. Got some good conversation, holding her hand, and talked about the surroundings trying to make her more present in the moment. Asked her what she’s fascinated about ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5zzL1g9ZI4](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5zzL1g9ZI4)), what came out was currently the gym (sporting exercises, i.e. running, gym, hand stands and calisthenics), and crime thriller TV shows. Played Style’s 5 question game ([https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23Dt1xb9oIw](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=23Dt1xb9oIw)), on her and that then lead to good Kino with hugging and laughing. [However I was unsure on how to escalate this into a kiss, or something more]. We did sit down and stare somewhat into each others eyes, however just talking still. Ended up continuing to walk in the park and ended up doing some handstands with her. Walked back to a local bistro-pub and got pint of cider, and played some table football for a couple of games then we both ordered burgers and chips. Whilst we were eating, she was telling me about a house party that happened the last weekend and how an old man tried to stroke her back and put his hand on her inner thigh. She did it to me, and I did the same back to her, I felt quite turned on that moment, and we did stare into each others eyes, then laughed it off. She was showing me some photos on her phone of the party, and then I decided to show her some of a fancy restaurant I went to in another city with a mate, however she saw a tinder message notification on my phone, and she seemed somewhat put off by this. (I’m not sure how to bring this up her, I’m hoping that it will be okay, she’s by far the best match I’ve had and liked allot after meeting). She then ended up drinking soft drinks again, and I did the same. We played some more table football for quite a few games and then she said she was tired, so I walked her back to the train station. This time she went in for a kiss goodbye on the lips and then left.


We talked about I could join her for a run after her work through the week just me and her. We also talked about that she’d like to watch game of thrones some time, however she said she’s put off by dates that have tried to get to “Chill” and watch game of thrones (As she’s told me about a tinder that invited her to his house to make pizza’s and then tried to have sex with her after some TV, however she said she ended up leaving and was put off by it). Talking with her, she’s been out of the dating game for 3 years also, she talks quite quickly and can get flustered quite easily.


So reddit, any feedback, and on next steps whats the best way to escalate the relationship to something sexual ? As I’ve read I should not be a nice guy, as women want a sexual partner that then gets turned into a long term partner. Any particular date ideas, that we could do ? Also specifically is there any games I could do to get more sexual attraction ? And or get us passionately kissing each other ?


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