I liked the first method in this video for how to get over approach anxiety: lower your criteria of what it means to approach to just walking over and uttering a sound. But he doesn’t give any examples. I’m guessing he doesn’t literally mean “utter a sound”. Maybe he means things like “the bus is late as usual” or “looks like all the bananas are green today”? I’d like examples because I will struggle even coming up with some meaningless comment. Anyone have examples?
Since I’m studying in colombia and I still don’t have many friends, I went to a club alone. It was so crowded you couldn’t move at all without bumping into someone. I made my way to the back wall where I post up on a half wall and procrastinate approaching. I pretend to check my phone when I’m really freaking out about being in such a crowded venue. I start dancing and then make eye contact with a girl and then we start grinding (I learned how to start dancing with girls at the club the last time I went out so that wasn’t too hard). Tonights mission was to get a kiss close. There is a dude that is staring at me so I hold eye contact because I thought it was an alpha test but it turns out he was gay. I found out when I was grinding with the girl and then he starts grinding on her from behind and tries to pull me in closer. A bit wired but whatever. The girl asks how old I am so I lie and say 25 (I’m 19) because she seems about that age. She tells me she is 30. We keep dancing but then she leaves abruptly. I think its because I didn’t start making out with her.
I try approaching other girls but I’m in a wired headspace now so I get rejected. Since I’m alone I wander to another group of friends and start dancing by some of the girls so I can gauge which are interested. I start dancing with another and then escalate to grabbing her ass. We dance for a while and I was waiting for the right time to kiss close but it never came. She tells me she has to go to her friends birthday party somewhere else so I pull her close and we kiss and say bye. I also told her I was 25 because she was 24 and actually works at the University I attend in Colombia.
I try to approach other girls but get rejected a few more times. Then I start dancing with a girl who eventually asks me to buy her a beer. I say I don’t drink and then she ignores me so I walk away haha.
Since the club had an expensive cover there weren’t many people my age so next time I will go somewhere cheaper so other college students will be there. I think that was a hindrance on my success. Plus there were just a lot of old people. I am happy with my results tonight and in a month I will be able to consistently and easily get kiss closes!