I spent over 10 years “focusing on myself” and having an “abundance” mindset. I used to spend countless hours in the gym, ate obnoxiously healthy, learned to play guitar, learned to dance, learned pickup, cleaned up my wardrobe. Everything. I had a few successes here and there, but my greatest results happened after I acquired the most important element of life.
A sense of importance.
Do you know what the actual meaning of “I matter” means?
“I” means you. Consciousness. Energy.
“Matter” means tangible, existing, or of form.
In other words, depression implies non-existence. And sure enough, the universe reflects that back to us. There’s a sense of invisibility. So it doesn’t come as a surprise when saying “I don’t matter” that people start ignoring you. Sure, there will be a person or two who may help you, but this is just a generalization.
Self importance implies a sense of mattering. “I” (energy) “matter” (exists). You can call it self respect, will, presence, a sense of self importance, it doesn’t matter.
Every day I read through many of this sub’s posts and many posts from other dating-related subs. *There are too many men who don’t value themselves.*
“How do I get this girl to text me back?”
“This girl keeps ignoring me. What should I do?”
“She keeps cancelling plans on me but I have feelings for her. Help?”
Are you kidding me? Let me tell you something.
*You will not know self respect until you’ve gone through the pain of not respecting yourself.* When everyone has abandoned you, stepped all over you, raped your mind and your wallet, and set you on fire to keep themselves warm, ONLY THEN WILL YOU UNDERSTAND SELF RESPECT.
Go through the pain of being betrayed, or being taken advantage of, or being cheated on. It is encouraged. Why? Because the fear of pain is a powerful motivator. Your mind, body, and soul will not allow you to go through the same pain again. And when that realization occurs, self importance is born, and you begin to *matter*.
That girl who doesn’t text you back? Next. That girl who keeps ignoring you? Next. That girl who keeps cancelling? Next.
*This is where real abundance comes from*. It’s not a “fake place” where you pretend to have abundance. You have abundance because you’re willing to dump every girl who doesn’t give you the time of day and give your attention to girls who do. Similar to sales, you call 100 people, you’ll get 90 no’s, 10 possible prospects, and eventually 1 hard yes.
And guess what? It will be *easy, effortless, enjoyable, and mutual.* It will lack the bullshit hassle of dealing with difficult women. A wise man once told me “If it’s not easy, don’t worry about it”. In this post, easy has a different definition. A challenge can be hard, but it’s easy because it’s enjoyable. Asking 100 women out can be hard, but it’s easy because it’s fun.
If you’re feeling worthless, that’s good. It means you’re on the right path. It may take several months or years, multiple hardships, betrayals, and many bouts of abandonment, but one day you’ll have had enough, you’ll be reborn, and you’ll be grateful for the pain that people put you through. Without that pain, it may be difficult to evolve.
Even if you can’t feel it now, always remember how important you are. To me, to the world, and to the women who will admire your strength and wonder to themselves “How did he get there?”
Have a good weekend.
View Reddit by DatingCoach111 – View Source