Have any of you ever hit the night clubs by yourselves? Is it good or bad not to have a wing man and what were your results?
I haven’t been on a date in a few months. I dated quite a bit before that but I found myself getting tired of putting in the effort and I never felt happy or into it. I got out of a 15 year relationship a little over two years ago and I had to do a ton of reading to work on my “game” and get back out there. I was glad to see that most of what I read was also posted here so at least I knew I was doing it right to some degree.
Although I could never shake the loss of my ex I still managed to have fun and everyone that I did get to go out on a date with me would end up having sex with a couple times and then I would lose interest. I now find myself not even wanting to put in the effort to go on a date, I’m active mostly on tinder and these past few months once I get their number I never contact them. I start thinking ahead to the date and having to be funny, witty, confident, etc. And to be honest I always fake most of it. And of course there’s the anxiety of being good in bed and then I end up never finishing most of the time, and that usually ends with them feeling bad or trying too hard.
I don’t know if I’m just tired of having to put in the effort of running “game” and having to talk to at least three women at once and all the million other things that has to be done when it comes to dating. Does anyone else deal with this or am I just out here on crazy island by myself?
I’m currently sitting at 37 approaches, got a ton of phone numbers, but they’re all flakes. I’m not worried. It’s apart of the process of becoming a master pick-up artist. In your experience, whether by using direct or indirect game, how long did it take you to a.) Get your first bang b.) Start getting results and felt comfortable with the concept of cold approaching?
This thread is on how to get laid/hook ups. Note that if you are the sickest player who slays everyday, this is not for you. This is for the average guy, who just want to get some of that good-good, I’m by no means a guru, but I really wish i had known these facts a few years back, as it would have helped A LOT.
Also what i will be talking about is universally speaking, so wont apply to every situation of course. This will only help you get a glimpse into the mystery of the female psychology of attraction. Some important factors that come in to play when looking for some hook-ups are:
– Looks: I won’t go into much details here: you look how you look guys. You can always get buff or dress good, but this will only give you an advantage in hooking up, so it is not the most important thing. You should try to stay clean, smell good and stay in shap, but honestly you should be doing that regardless of if you are looking to hook up or not.
– Confidence: You knew this would be here. No one knows what it is, but everybody knows what it looks like. In hooking up confidence is the difference between the girl getting bored out or getting wet. Now this one is a little tricky, but generally you can say this: do things that make you feel good about yourself. For some that means getting buff, for some it means working harder/more money for others it about doing something you are passionate about. No this does not mean you have to “be alpha” and focus on seeming more confident. You can act confident all you want and this might even work on some girls, but most people in general will try to get an impression of what you truly think of yourself. If you stutter, lack eye-contact and show other low self-esteem, which you btw will if you have low self-esteem, other people will catch on. You can control your posture, expressions ect., but you will always project your opinion of yourself subconsiously. Do things that make you feel good, work on your insecurities and again getting girls should not be the only reason you do this, you will be happier in general.
– Fear of rejection: This one is an exstension of my prior point: You can not be afraid of rejection from anyone. Now you will always be this to some degree, but if your fear of rejection is too high you will ultimately shoot yourself in the foot while interacting with people. It is insecurity. You should not NEED to be accepted you should WANT to be accepted. This one is a hard one boys, you can only destroy this insecurity by going out and get rejected…. a lot. I got over my fear of rejection by doing something pretty stupid but also high risk/high reward. I went up to my crush and straight up asked her if she wanted to hang out (actually half thinking she would say no). She did in fact also say no, but that was not the point :P. Sure it felt like a slap to the face , but taking that from a girl i had feelings for, i now barely feel anything from girls i don’t have any feelings for. As you get rejected more you start to feel numb to it and stop taking it so personally
– Numbers game: Which brings me to my next point: you should think of “the dating market” purely as a numbers game. Here is the deal: if you, like me, and most of guys on earth, is an average joe, and you went out downtown where you live and asked 100 girls for their number immiediaty at least 70-80 of them would shut you down right then and there. Most girls, even the average/slightly below average ranked girls have guys at work, nights out, on social media, tinder ect. approaching them every day: they have options. Guys also have options, but it does not even compare. The rule usually is the better looking the girl, the more options. And so they get to filter out and choose who they want and dont want. Also she could already be taken, be busy with work/school or maybe she just doesnt like color on the shirt you where wearing that day. My point shoot as many shots as possible and will end up scoring a few points a long the way. Also guys aim realisticly, you are much likely to pick up a 6/10 girl than a 10/10 girl, again: numbers game.
– Progression: In most cases girls have within 5 seconds of talking to you already decided if she wants to fuck you or not. I recommend assuming you can fuck her can until rejection. If she decides you are attractive and cute, and you guys continue interacting she will bang you. It’s that simple. Some girls like to just act like they want to bang tho, be aware of these types. Every girl has a different pace, some you can bang the same day you meet, some want to wait weeks, some want to wait till after marriage. Here is the deal: even if a chick wants to bang you, there is still much room for fucking shit up. Most common mistake guys (I’m guilty of this one) make is coming on to strong or being too passive. There is a fine line in between there that you have to learn to develop, which is key to getting laid. What kind of girl is she? How does she respond to your advances? How comfortable does she seem? Usually a girl stifens up a bit if you are pushing her limits. Slow down tiger and try again some other time. If she likes your advances she will act like nothing/respond back. The golden rule here is: Always. Move. Forward. Always initiate more. Most important part here to just be fine with the pace she sets for the interaction. You decide yourself if things are moving to slow and you want to move on.
Pretty basic stuff really, but effective approach. You don’t really have to do anything you just have to change some of your perspectives, play your odds and be patient. You should always focus on the chemistry rather than focusing on the end-goal. Just have fun along the way and enjoy the excitement really. If any female redditors are reading tell me what you think about my observations about female attraction. You, my apprentice “Average Joe”, are now a jedi knight, go out there and make me proud :’)
I (21m) have been on 2 dates with a girl (18f). First time we met for coffee and second time we were at my place cooking together and watching a movie. Last date was 2 days ago, we kissed and such but I did not escalate further. Next day I texted her saying I had a great time and would like to see her again she responed the same. I then said that I would like to meet her again this week she agreed but did not specify what day she would be free. I have not yet responded to this message. I have since this followed every r/seduction rule with abundance and so on. I just felt that this recent behaviour was quite needy? Would it be fine to casually invite her for a date on saturday again? Maybe a few drinks in town and a movie at my place? She seems really into me but I don’t want to be clingy and so on.
What do you think?