Seducing your S/O?

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Hey guys. I’m looking for advice/strategies on how to seduce someone you’ve been with for a while.
I’m 26 and my girlfriend is 25. We’ve been together for 3 years and we’re doing fine. The sex is good, but predictable and sorta vanilla. I’d like to spice things up, make her want me the way she did when we first started hooking up. Ya know, get her excited about being naked together instead of just fucking to get each other off.

It’s like we’re past the point of trying to impress each other in the bedroom, which I know happens in relationships. I don’t want sex to be a routine thing. What can I do as her BF to make things more exciting?

Any and all suggestions are welcome and appreciated

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8 thoughts on “Seducing your S/O?”

  1. Read the book Mating in Captivity. That’s what that book is all about, keeping eroticism alive in long term relationships.

    One specific thing the author wrote about in there really made sense to me, she talked about erotic and exciting sex is like preparing a meal. You spend all day shopping for ingredients, prepping, cooking, maybe have an appetizer, a glass of wine to go with it, and finally you can really enjoy that meal. Long term couples just expect to jump right into erotic sex without “preparing for the meal.” When you first started dating, there was tension, flirting, eye-fucking, light touching, kissing, all drawn out before you even get naked. Erotic sex takes a whole day or evening to “prepare” for.

    Make a good meal out of each other, you’re not fast food.

  2. You’ve already seduced your SO. Don’t play games with your girlfriend of 3 years. Game at this point, in my experience, is strictly **Inner Game** and **honesty.** If your Inner Game is slipping, fix that. You won’t get anywhere with a poor mindset or if you aren’t taking care of yourself. As for honesty. don’t ask us this:

    > What can I do as her BF to make things more exciting?

    Ask **HER**. Being unable to communicate with the person you know and trust is a sign of declining Inner Game. Communicate with your girl my dude, and lastly, don’t only focus on the bedroom. A declining or stagnant bedroom starts in your day to day life. Spice that up too while you’re sorting things out in the bedroom. Sex is spicier after a few drinks and some dancing. It’s spicier after you’ve been texting all day telling each other how much you love each other, how sexy you find one another, and how much you want to fuck them lol. It’s not just about the bedroom, and this might come up when you talk to her about it.

  3. A female friend of mine was married to an abusive gentleman before they got divorced. Verbally/mentally abusive, not physical. They fought constantly, and she would always try to gain his approval. She said it was the best sex she ever had. Mind you, she’s already a very domineering woman, so imagine how ruthless her ex husband was.

    I am *not* saying you should be abusive. No way. But you should be a leader and be more assertive when leading the relationship. That means believing in yourself, standing up for what you believe in, enforcing boundaries, and being a *man*. No matter how much you love her, you have to remind her (through your actions) that you have value, and that you’re strong enough to not let your love for her control you.

    Do these things outside of the bedroom, and amazing sex will be the byproduct.

  4. My suggestions are a little more simple than the good advice your getting but here it is. Take complete and total charge. Not abusive in any way. Just dominate. Be spontaneous, maybe like in the middle of fixing dinner, push her against a wall. Maybe start early in the day with a provocative text- just suggestive, let her imagination do all the work. Most importantly just be passionate but tease the heck out of her. A blind fold would’t hurt either.

  5. I’ve heard you list you watch netflix and chill with your S/O. That’s no problem but in my experience, don’t let yourself watch more and more tv around each other. Netflix got my ex and I to be too comfortable in our relationship and numb everything else because we didn’t have anything to talk about or didn’t want to do anything but watch netflix. Obviously there were issues with the relationship that weren’t exclusive to just watching netflix but it certainly didn’t help. I try to limit myself as to how much tv I watch now because of it.

    As to how to spice it up, there’s the book mentioned in the comments about long term relationship eroticism, but I’ve also found another book called how to be a 3% man (forgot the author’s name) that’s really helped me keep things fresh and new with casual partners but has A LOT on couples too.

    The gist of it is that women should not teach men how to be men: you must be more assertive in your relationship and take control and INITIATIVE (this one’s critical, mate) of most scenarios. That includes sex, food, interests, hobbies, etc. Be purposeful in what you do day-to-day.

    Specific things to freshen up your sex life, I’d say foreplay is one of the biggest things that can help. Foreplay should be a forever thing, a daily challenge and not a routine. Caresses, kisses (good, passionate ones), EYE CONTACT, building sexual tension, edging your partner and controlling when they can and cannot cum, a little rougher things (with consent). There is also a great guide on how to eat out your gf, I learnt a lot from it: Nina Heartly’s how to eat pussy. It’s super informative.

    Good luck!!

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