A Tinder Profile That ACTUALLY Gets You Laid (+Full Open To Close Interaction + Tinder Profile Broken Down)
Like the title says I’m 31 and have almost no relationship experience, have been single for 10 years, and can count on two ands how many times I’ve had sex in the past 10 years. I’ve been addicted to porn most of my life and am working on quitting and doing semen retention but it’s making me go insane. I’m currently on day 42 and the only thing on my mind is how do Iget better with women.
I have no idea where to start, or if I even should start before my brain is rewired and healed from my addiction (I’m worried that might take too long though and I’ve already gone this long without sex and dating that I’m not going to get any better if I don’t do something). So, as a clueless man in his early 30s with basically no confidence or idea how to flirt or approach or anything, where should I start?
I know, I know, some of you might say who cares how people perceive you and it’s all numbers. Well my friend, a lot of us do care. Nobody wants to get thrown out of bars or clowned on in front of a crowd. Sometimes dudes starting out don’t know how to cold approach at appropriate times, or know how to act / take rejection so they end up being a creep in that moment. Well here’s my tips I call it the warm approach, because these are some typical signs someone’s into you; it gives you a better chance she actually wants you to talk to her.
# Wait for eye contact.
Seriously, this is a big one. I don’t mean a one off glance either. If you see someone stare at you multiple times a night or one of your trust worthy buddies says she stares when you’re not looking, chances are she probably digs you.
# Smile and smile back.
If you do happen to lock eyes, give a smile or wait for a smile. If you guys both smile harder or laugh from across the room you’re golden. When you smile at someone and they look look disgusted, chances are you saved yourself from walking up to someone who really didn’t want to talk to you.
# “THAT’S SO FUNNY!” The non joke humor tip.
You know what I’m talking about. The vibe is right you guys are in the same group, or she’s next to your group and laughs at a really stupid joke. Yeah if you’ve been acting smooth all night, and she ends up laughing at things you didn’t even mean to be funny. Huge green flag she’s probably into you.
# Group assignments or engagements.
Whether it be at school, playing a game at the bar, or anything else that requires a group. If she always wants to be in your group, you’re doing good and she probably digs you. Even at a first met situation if she’s super eager to play pool with you or darts, you are 90% in solid my friend.
# Last but not least… The blatant friend.
Sometimes girls are just flat-out shy about things, and one of her bold friends will seriously straight up tell you she’s diggin you. Maybe you’re a damn male model or maybe you’ve been acting super suave and she’s feeling your vibe. Whatever it is, if her friend straight up tells you… go for it! I’ve seen too many dudes think a chicks friend is just lying or messing around.
I know i know its better to meet women in person but its gonna be especially hard since it’s summer. Lately ive just been dming girls that live in my city that i dont really know or just texting girls i know in general. I think i might be too boring or something. Sometimes i get a girls number but then im left on delivered out of nowhere. Sometimes i just dont even know what to say first to even spark interest. Help?
1) read the number back and change a digit, if she doesn’t correct you it’s fake… Move on.
2) the only way to get good at talking to girls is to practice and get rejected as many times as possible. Rejection isn’t an insult, does she have a bf? Did she just break up? Does she have a family situation? Is she just doing her own thing? Guys assume they get rejected because they are not attractive. NOT TRUE. Even if a girl is physically unattracted to you, you can get but hurt or improve. Look as good as you can? Great. Your not getting rejected because you are not attractive enough. You’re getting rejected because she doesn’t feel comfortable (or for any reason mentioned above, which you have no way of knowing) and because you are not confident enough. People don’t remember how you look, they remember how you make them feel.
Be confident (do this through practice, get rejected as many times as possible), make her feel comfortable with your presence (practice practice practice). Learn how to talk to woman (practice)
Rejected? Rejoice. For that is how you learn and that is how you will find love.
This is just a little post to share a few things I’ve learned in the last month.
Girl 1) tinder date. The mindset I had going into it was “get the sex”. I just wanted the validation. And while she was nice and fun and, to be frank, obviously a bit slutty, it took me until we were both butt naked at her place to realise I was just not attracted to her. She looked alright with clothes on, and had a nice smile and she was kinda forward which turned me on, but once we got down to business, I couldn’t get it up. She was just not even slightly my type. Did the whole “it’s not you it’s me” routine, did my best to get her off (she can only get off with toys, tut tut) and left.
Lesson: not worth lowering your standards for sex. You think it’ll give you a confidence boost, but it might just do the opposite.
Girl 2) Someone I met at a bar. I found her ID then recognised her from it and gave it to her. Easy open, and I’m happy to say I didn’t waste it. Got the number. Took it “slow” for the first time (I have a streak of fucking on the day I’ve met a girl) (out of necessity, she had work in the morning) so I managed to set up a good third date with perfect logistics. Gotta say, the build up to that date, where we both knew what was gonna happen after, was fucking exciting. Didn’t think of anything else sexually for the whole week. We had a good date, good sex in a hotel room and… I’ve pretty much lost all interest in her. I’m not sure if I’m just an asshole or not, but I barely brought myself to text her a few days after. I guess it’s a case of being blinded by my attraction for her that I didn’t realise how boring I found her company. In the following week, I’ve found that getting a satisfying ONS has not done anything to improve my mood or better me as a person. Not that I consciously thought it would.
Lesson: sex won’t solve your problems, and if you feel like it will when going in, you’ll just feel shit afterwards. Also learned once again that’s it’s fucking hard to say no to “you don’t need a condom I’m on the pill”. Sigh.
The big positive from this experience is that I seem to have lost a lot of the “MUST GET SEX” drive that was pushing me into pursuing girls below my own standards. I feel less desperate and less rushed to be having lots of sex, at the expense of logic.
My friend that I usually go to clubs with is gone for 2 months and now I have no one to go with. I dont plan to go only for the women but to have a good time and dance.
Would this be weird/creepy to go alone? Does anyone have experience doing this?
Today I opened a girl on our way home from the gym. Mostly small talk, some good laughs. At one point I mentioned how my friend and I usually play pool on Thursdays, but this week he can’t make it (true), then I asked if she wanted to join me. She said “oh I can’t, I have plans on Thursday” and nothing else. Now, after reading /r/seduction for awhile, I’ve always heard that a girl saying she’s busy and not offering another day or activity means she’s not interested. In my case, I made a joke and said “that’s a shame, I would have been the best coach” and left it at that. What I wanted to do was ask if she was free another time, my schedule is pretty flexible, but that seems like it might come across as needy. What do you guys think? How would you respond? If I asked for another time (I’ve always been told offer a specific day) and she said the same thing, is that pretty much a conclusive no-go with her?