How I stopped being a pussy

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These are the 3 big things I’ve picked up on recently. I went through a shit break-up last year and it took a lot of time to get my game back. This subreddit helped me get through tough times so I am paying it forward.

1) Cocky comedy will take you far. Being playfully cocky will instantly separate you from 90% of social interactions she has with other males. Cocky comedy comes from the perspective that **she is the one who is after you.** When meeting a new woman, challenge her from the very beginning. Instead of pursuing her, put it in your head that she is the one pursuing you. Don’t be afraid to bust her balls, but make sure it’s in a teasing flirtatious way. One way I like to use cocky comedy is by using a made up “strike system”. I’ll say something like this: “Oh, you don’t like pineapple on pizza? That’s gonna be a strike. This isn’t going to work out.” I take something small and blow it out of proportion as if it was a relationship deal breaker. The secret is a sly delivery, as you don’t want to come off as arrogant or try to hurt her feelings. Cocky comedy is a way to show that you’re not intimidated by her and that you like to have a good time. It’s also a good shit test to play on women.

2) Stop relying on logical characteristics to get women. This one took me a long time to figure out. I used to think “I’m an above average looking guy, I wear nice clothes, I’m not a fuck-up, so why aren’t women throwing themselves at me?” The thing is, having “logical” qualities is great to possess, and you should absolutely work on becoming the best person you can be. **But the reality is that logic ain’t gonna get you laid.** In order to attract women you must do so on an emotional level. Attraction is fueled by humor, charm, smart-ass comments, unpredictability, wit, i.e. the intangible characteristics. You MUST make a woman feel a special way if you want to attract her. The extra stuff (nice job and car) is just icing on the cake once you’ve already attracted her.

3) Understand what confidence looks like. You always hear people say “just be confident around women,” but what the fuck does confidence even LOOK like? I figured out that **confidence is just a sense of security in future events.** When talking to women, speak with certainty in the future. Replace your “if’s” with “when’s”, and stop staying “I think” and “I guess.” Communicate as though you already know you **will** go on a date with her, and that you **will** end up kissing her. You’ll start to notice how this change in mentality will subsequently change the way you carry yourself. If deep down you’re still insecure (which is okay) then fake it till you make it.

EDIT: Glad to see the reception this got! I’m going to make a post in a few days outlining some cocky comedy techniques. Be on the lookout for it.

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29 thoughts on “How I stopped being a pussy”

  1. Exactly! I keep trying to tell people this. I keep saying that I’m honestly surprised people actually still have dating issues in 2019. As far as “game” goes anyway.i notice people might have an issue with this statement, so that’s my clarification.

    I mean, it’s understandable if you don’t have slot of “hot singles in your area,” but Guys need to learn to do whatever the fuck they want and stop worrying about dumb shit like when to text a girl or whatever.

    I sent this to someone on here, pretty much some up my thoughts on this: Id say before anything, you should first sit down and have a certain conversation with yourself:

    Make sure you tell yourself, everytime you think about this girl, that she isn’t:

    A: your soulmate

    B: better or higher than you

    C: lower than you

    D: equal to you

    The point is that you shouldn’t contexualize in any way how this girl compares to you, thinking she’s a “super beautiful girl” and all. Don’t think she’s somehow better than other girls or focus only on looks. This just implies that you’re putting her over yourself or other girls you’ve met. She will sense this, and either take advantage of you or throw you away. KNOW that this girl is just a pile of flesh just like every other organism on this godforsaken planet

    Now that doesn’t mean you should let yourself go and expect her to like you, because you still have to set a certain tone, but i think you get it.

    **YOUR THOUGHT PROCESS SHOULD BE THAT THIS GIRL COULD BE NOTHING MORE THAN A GOOD ADDITION TO AN ALREADY GREAT OR AT LEAST TOLERABLE LIFE.**

    She could either be “that one cherry on top” or not. Simple as that.

    All this worrying about how much you  should text and hang out with her etc is already fucking you up.

    If you GENUINELY like this girl, text her when you want, hang out with her when you want etc.If you are conveying to her than you are a strong man in person, she won’t need to look for signs in texting patterns etc. as to what type of guy you are.

    This girl is one of your “special friends,” not your sole object of attention or only pass time. She just fulfills something that you may or may not have wanted before.

    Just be respectful of boundries and don’t do anything creepy. Don’t make her feel like she always has to be the leader. And if something that no one else will say needs to be said, SAY IT.
    (Basically don’t be afraid to speak up and remember that everyone is just as important in social circles, and if someone makes you feel like it’s wrong to speak your mind, you don’t want that person in your life.)

    That’s it. Ride that wave but don’t way it down to much.

    End Note:

    I notice some people seem bothered when I said I’m surprised that people still have issues in this day and age, Making comparisons to world hunger etc.

    If you don’t see anything wrong with what I said,  then there is no point in reading this part unless you just feel like it.

    I already edited to clarify my point, but I wanted to say this.

    Something like starvation is entirely dependent upon being LUCKY enough to have SOME sort of resource.

    Something like cultivating “game” is something that can, and will be accomplished, if the subject is willing to:

    A: put there ego aside in order to learn

    B: quickly change their perspective on anything relevant to their journey

    C: do objective reflections on them selves and others

    D:accept that who they uniquely are is no weirder or less potential than anyone else.

    E:change in any way needed to achieve their goal

    F: keep their head on their shoulders and not become bitter or distraught when faced with an undesired outcome.

    This is in no particular order.

    Having “game” is a mental journey (physical for some as well, hopefully that’s obvious), and your own mind is always at your disposal and under your control, unless you have mental blocks like illness such as depression or a personality disorder or something.

    Being ignorant or having a bad mindset isn’t comparable to the above mentioned issues. Yes, in any case it takes work, but so does anything that’s worth it.

    I get that not everyone was born with “game,” and that’s the whole point in posting this comment in the first place.

  2. Funny how sometimes we just need a shitty situation (such as your breakup) to give us that little push we need. This is a great post though, very down to earth and realistic, as opposed to a lot of the ‘experts’ on here. Don’t overcomplicate things fellas, just enjoy yourself first and foremost.

  3. Having escaped FA I think you make good points.

    But on the confidence. You don’t need to specificallys stop saying these things. Just get rid of the nice guy stuff. Have a straight back keep a little more eye contact. Be calm.

    Don’t show neuroticism. And don’t think a girl is special and pedestal her.

    Don’t frame yourself that she is special and you will be lucky to have her. She wants to feel it is the other way around.

    All this is emotion subconsiously. She will connect non verbally. Because she think it has more truth than what you actually say.

    “I guess” can be said confidently or insecure.

  4. > . I’ll say something like this: “Oh, you don’t like pineapple on pizza? That’s gonna be a strike. This isn’t going to work out.”

    if you don’t think you can pull this off you can also say something like, “don’t worry one’s perfect.”

  5. I got a couple of tips for those that are new to cocky comedy:

    * Another way to think of it is that you are the hero of the film that just entered the room. You are Van Wilder himself and you know, like everyone else, that the world is your oyster.

    * You want to go absolutely as far over the top as you can when starting out. You’re going to subconsciously tone yourself down and that’s going to either make you less cocky than you should be, or cause you to vacillate and come off as insecure. The paradox here is to go far out, thinking that it is going to destroy your chances. With success a foregone conclusion, your subconscious wont make you seem as insecure, but it will try to tone you down to make you seem normal. You can then calibrate yourself down to a level where you’re seeing the most success.

    * Be honest and concise in complements, be dishonest and long-winded when ribbing her. To take OP’s example, when giving out strikes, don’t give them over something you actually dislike. Women are emotional creatures. Men are not. You are going to give away your emotional state at most times and, if you talk about something that is actually off-putting to you, the negativity is going to ooze out of you whether you like it or not. The same goes for compliments. If you don’t believe it, you wont have that emotional discharge. If you do believe it, it’s the emotions that get what you’re saying through. You keep it concise because it’s the emotions that count, and being too wordy comes off as desperate.

    * Women will tell you they hate it. You’re not doing it because they like it, you’re doing it because they love it. Anyone who’s ever loved knows that you can sure as shit hate what you love and that does not stop you from fucking it. So truck on!

  6. It took me some time till I figured out being very good looking helps a lot. 🙂
    I’m semi-serious, lol. Like, in my circle of friends, one guy was particularly _lucky_, and none of us (guys) could really pin-point why? He claimed it has something to do with him being confident, better understanding women… None of that made much sense to the others, as he wasn’t really the sharpest tool in the shed. He also lacked basic manners (which he explained is exactly what women actually desire in a man).
    Than once a girlfriend of another friend of mine met him, and immediately afterwards said “what a handsome and good looking man”. Two of us were totally shocked by that statement, as we never noticed this (he obviously has some Jason Statham type of good looks… as a guy you’ll be like, he’s an ok fella, but you wouldn’t say he’s pretty).
    To cut a long story short, say you’re a girl asking an advice from Margot Robbie how to approach men. She would probably tell you to be confident, relaxed, be engaged in the conversation, listen carefully and most important believe in yourself.
    But, the fact is, it’s freakin Margot Robbie, and she had him waaay before she even noticed him.

  7. This is super important and honestly I struggle with it a lot.

    I learned in a psych class that there was a study where they introduced a person to a stranger and told the person that the stranger held a negative or positive view of them based on things told to the stranger. The two had a conversation, and at the end, the stranger told researchers whether they had a negative or positive view of the person. The stranger had actually never been told anything beforehand, but had a positive view of the people who went into it being told the stranger liked them, and a negative view of the people who were told the stranger held negative views about them. Point being, what we think affects how we interact.

    My guess is the people who were told the stranger held negative views of them became too tryhard and inauthentic in an attempt to get on the stranger’s good side. In much the same way, we appear this way when we think we have to “win” the girl over, and it leads to being inauthentic and unattractive. Even recently I’ve noticed a few girls I’ve gone out with in the past posting photos on their Snapchat or Instagram story and I’ll think of a funny response, but don’t end up responding because “I’m done with those girls” and I don’t want to seem like a tryhard pest after we went different ways. Maybe that’s the right way to be (avoiding the wrong girls for me), but later I’ll wonder why I was afraid to just simply be funny. If I’m saying it to say it, like I would to a friend, I don’t really care if they respond or not. Why would I feel differently about a girl who I went out with a couple times and things didn’t go anywhere? To me that’s where the idea of “just being yourself” actually holds weight in terms of congruency. Be authentic, and the interactions you have with others will be more authentic as well

  8. Great post man. Finally. Usually so much whining in this sub.

    One thing about the strike system. It’s as old as time. I learned it about 8 years ago. It works and it’s not bad, but sometimes it’s just not congruent and the key to all cocky/funny and other frames is congruence.

    I do my cocky funny without any strike system type thing. Mine is more about elevating myself.

    I’ll say shit like “do you think I’m too sexy to be in this bar?” or something stupid. Obviously in jest but it works.

    I just make clear narcissist type statements, but make it obvious that I’m self-aware/joking.

  9. 100% agree. When I was younger I practically lived in stripper bars. Couple times when the girls would make their “rounds” to collect tips I would politely just hand a girl a couple dollars while staying engrossed in a conversation with my buddy. Almost every time some girl is enticed to come back & meet the cool guys who weren’t drooling over them. Mention a new restaurant you’re friend loved, etc. I actually got one of my last girlfriends over a conversation about a new place that we both wanted to try. “I’m down if you are lets check it out…” Getting back to the strippers, I would look at their thong & say “man…that looks great on you, but I spend most of my time trying to keep my underwear OUT of there!…” funny ice-breaker stuff. I’ll use cocky stuff AND mild self-deprecating humor that I only order one drink that I don’t even like because its the only drink I know, etc. Anything but being the typical ass in that bar telling the waitress & the stripper everything they’ve heard before.

  10. Be careful with being “cocky”, though guys. I think OP gets it, but many people see cocky and think “arrogant” – and that’s not at all what he’s saying. You can have humility AND confidence AND still frame the interaction like you’re the one being pursued. If you’re arrogant you’ll only appear like a self absorbed prick.

  11. Agree on everything said here 100%

    Just remember….If a dirty ass bum that smells like piss and has no teeth gives you a “Strike system” on the street corner you’re going to tell him to fuck off.

    At the end of the day this kind of stuff only works if your SMV is high enough to warrant busting her balls.

  12. On your number 2, I wholeheartedly agree, that for most cases, it’s the intangible things that really grabs a woman. Humor, quick wit, being cocky, smartass but in a playful way, etc. However, in my experience, you REALLY need to be physically attractive to start it off, to draw them in in the first place. I don’t care if you’re the funniest man in the world, if you look like Toxic Avenger, they’re not going to get past that first hurdle.

  13. To add to cocky comedy, sexual humor is another great one. Not ‘haha 69 bro lol’, but just talking about sex and desire in a comfortable way establishes the fact that you are an object of potential desire.

  14. “to show that you’re not intimidated by her” – sounds like a piece of advice about behaving yourself when encountering a wild animal

    1. look into her eyes and don’t turn away

    2. raise your hands above your head to look bigger than she

    3. don’t run away

  15. > Attraction is fueled by humor, charm, smart-ass comments, unpredictability, wit, i.e. the intangible characteristics.

    I keep thinking, “It’s time to tone this smart ass arrogant asshole thing down, she’s had enough, might be bad for her self esteem”

    Then I remember “nope, this is why she enjoys me.”

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